Catherinemary's Journals

A Beautiful Disgrace Chapter 3

“Uhm I know I said we were going to hang out here and stuff, but I need to go somewhere real fast.” Pat said walking around his room to look for his car keys.

“Where are we going?” Mae asked sitting on the bed.

It was going to be a while before Pat found his keys so they were going to be hanging out here for a while. It was a Tuesday after school and Mae had nothing to do homework wise.

“I have to go to Tim’s. I know you won’t object to that.”

“Why?”

“Because you like him.” Pat said like Mae was an idiot.

“No! I mean why do you have to go there, not why won’t I object?”

“Oh, because I left my drums there and he told me if I didn’t come get them by today he would put them in the street.”

“How long ago did he tell you that?”

“Mmm a week ago.”

Mae rolled her eyes and fell back on Pat’s bed. She knew it was still going to be a while so she just kept up with the sporadic moments of conversation that Pat came up with while he searched. She rolled to her side and felt a hard lump in the sheets. She put her hand under the covers and found the car keys.

“Here.” Mae said handing them to Pat.

“Oh, cool. How long have you had them?” Pat asked narrowing his eyes.

“Three seconds.” Mae said standing up.

Pat accepted that answer and grabbed the keys. He’d deemed her statement to be the truth and not a lie. She was no conspiring against him by hiding his keys because in all reality that was not an effective way to do it.

The two of them walked out to Pat’s car and got in. Pat plugged in his ipod and then they were off listening to whatever song came up on the shuffle.

Pat was having a good time singing along and beating on his steering wheel to the songs that came on. It was nothing for him to go to his brother’s house.

Mae was sitting still and quiet. She was nervous to be going to Tim’s. It was going to be her, Pat, and Tim as far as she knew and Pat was going to be loading his drums so it would really be her and Tim. That was an enticing and scary prospect. What was she supposed to say to him?

“What’s wrong?” Pat asked.

“Nervous.”

“Oh, right.” Pat said nodding to himself.

He was still bothered by Mae liking Tim but he knew that there wasn’t much he could do about it. It wasn’t like he could just tell her to stop liking him and then keep them apart all the time. That would just make it worse so he dealt with it.

“Sorry.” Mae said quietly as soon as they pulled in front of Tim’s place.

“For what?”

“I know you don’t like that I like Tim.”

“He’s my brother and you’re my friend. It’s not like I’m going to try to stop you though.”

“I know.”

They got out of the car and Pat locked it while walking up to the front door. There was that knock that Mae was dreading and then the door was unlocked. Not a second later there was Tim.

“What are you here for?” He asked Pat.

“Drums.”

“Oh, finally.” Tim said opening the door wider.

Pat walked in and Mae followed. Tim noticed Mae for the first time.

“Hey Mae.” He smiled that smile she loved and nodded at her.

She smiled back at him and then looked down.

That was something that Tim was curious about. Why on Earth does she always look down after I say hi to her? Does she think she’s not worthy or something like that. Tim thought to himself. He looked at her for a second but she didn’t look up.

“Where are they?” Pat asked.

“Where you left them.”

“Right, Mae… you’ll be cool on your own? I have to put them in their cases and then fit them into the car.”

Mae just nodded.

“Okay, play nice Tim.” Pat said walking off.

Play nice? What the fuck does that mean? Tim watched the figure of his brother disappear into the room where his drums were. When he was gone Tim looked at Mae. She was just standing in the entryway looking out of place.

“You can go sit or something if you want.” Tim said to her.

“Okay.” She walked slowly to the couch.

“What a drink or something?” Tim asked as he headed for the kitchen.

Mae shook her head no and Tim shrugged. He went into the kitchen and got himself some water before going back to where Mae was. He was too interested to leave her alone. There was something that she was keeping under lock and key that he wanted to figure out.

She scooted over from the middle of the couch and drew her knees up when Tim sat on the couch. He thought that was weird. She’s like closing herself off as if I’m going to do something. Weird. He looked at her for a moment while thoughts ran through his head about why she was like this.

Tim sipped his water and leaned back against the couch. There was a long silence and they could hear Pat taking apart his drum set, cursing at it when it didn’t behave, and putting everything into its cases. Mae let her legs down and her feet touched the floor. Her hands were folded in her lap. She was trying not to look at Tim because her thoughts were all over the place.

It was awkward to not be saying anything and Tim was dying for a conversation. He ran through a million things he could say to her that would maybe start something, but then decided to go for something that would force her to say more than yes or no.

“So tell me something about yourself.” Tim said looking at her.

“Like what?” She asked looking down after she had looked up and their eyes locked.

“Anything.”

“I like boys.” She half smiled throwing something obvious out there.

Tim laughed throwing his head back and rolled his eyes. When he was finished he came back to his original position and focused his eyes back on her. She felt herself start to blush so she looked down. She watched as Tim’s hand came up from his lap and lifted her face to look at him. He put his glass of water on the table.

“Tell me what you’re scared of.” He said.

“Failing.” She said.

It wasn’t the answer he was expecting. He smiled when he realized she had gone back to his first question. She wasn’t going to tell him why she kept blushing because he thought that she was scared.

“What do you mean ‘failing?’” He questioned now interested.

“Just failing.” Mae was a little uncomfortable with talking now.

“Anything in particular?”

“School, friends, family…” She mumbled on.

“You know you have to fail sometime in your life, right?” He flashed a crooked smile.

“No, I know that.” She said taking a moment just to look at his facial expression. “It’s just that a person can’t have hope without fear.”

“That’s deep.” Tim smiled.

She blushed again.

“Why do you keep doing that?” He asked.

“What?” She played it off like she had no idea though she was staring at her lap again.

“Blushing.”

“I don’t know.” She said covering her face with her hands.

“It’s cute.”

“That just makes it worse!” She complained from behind her hands as her skin grew warmer.

She knew her blush was deepening and it didn’t feel like it was going to stop. Tim laughed quietly at her behavior and then she felt his hands wrap around her wrists. He pulled at them gently and she allowed him to take her hands from her face. He let one of his hands slide to hold onto hers and his other let go of her wrist to lift her face up.

“I told you it was cute.” He said softly with his face so close to hers it was hard to breathe. “That means I want to see it.”

At that point she wasn’t breathing. He was so close to her face that she couldn’t concentrate. Her heart was doing back flips and her stomach was in her mouth; all figuratively of course. He smiled at her when she stared at him. She imagined herself to look like a deer in the headlights so she shook her head as if that would put order into her already jumbled thoughts.

She managed a smile. While she kept that in place on her face it grew wider and she waited for the heat to fade from her. If he was this close eventually her body had to stop filling her face with blood. She only had so much right? Her blush faded out.

“See, that wasn’t so bad.” Tim scooted closer to her on the couch but his face remained the same distance.

One of his hands was still wrapped around hers. His other hand was near her face again. He put his palm on her cheek and let his fingertips stroke her face. She smiled because that was all she could do through her nerves. Her face burned hotter than it ever had as his fingertips glided over her skin.

Tim, picking up that she was nervous, asked, “What?”

“You.” She said in a candid moment.

“Me?” He seemed confused.

“Yes you.” She said having to glance away from his eyes.

She felt like she’d just admitted something huge and she was hoping it went over his head.

“What about me?” He was being relentless.

“You make me nervous.”

“Sorry?” He said like he was confused.

“No, it’s okay. I mean it feels kind of… good.”

“Then I’ll keep doing it.” Tim smiled.

They continued talking for a while and it became slightly easier to get over her nerves. There were a few times when he asked her a question and she responded with something that he never saw coming. It knocked him out for a few seconds and she liked seeing him caught off guard. It kind of let her see him.

“You know, I think that you’re a very deep girl and I wish I’d figured that out sooner.”

“Nah, I’m not deep.” She laughed it off.

“Yes you are.” Tim insisted.

“You’re deep.” She said.

“How so? I’ve been the one asking the questions and you’ve been the one answering the whole time.” He questioned tilting his head to the side.

“You’re deep because you have to be deep in order to see depth in another person.” She explained.

“See, that’s deep too.”

“You understand it, right?”

“Of course.”

Pat walked into the room, his face buried in a text he was sending. Before he could see what was going on between his brother and Mae, Tim let go of her hand and withdrew his other hand from her face. He leaned back so they were an appropriate distance for casual conversation. They still were angled towards each other but it was only like they’d been talking about the weather.

“Ready?” Pat asked Mae when he’d hit send.

“I suppose. I think I should be the one asking you that though.” She said standing up.

Tim smiled up at her from the couch. “Nice talking to you Mae. See you later?”

“Same Tim. See you around.”

Pat let her pass him and then followed her out of the room. She went out the front door of Tim’s house and walked to Pat’s car. He unlocked it and she got in. Pat got in on the driver’s side. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped out a quick message.

“My brother was staring at your ass.” Pat said trying to sound disgusted but smirking.

“He was?” She asked like she wasn’t interested.

“Yep, it was weird.”

She shrugged her shoulders and pretended like it didn’t matter to her. She thought that she was playing it up a little too much but didn’t worry too much.

“It’s about time he returned the favor.” Pat said putting the car into drive. “You’ve been staring at his ass for years.”

She bit her lip to keep herself from smiling. She knew that Pat had caught her looking at Tim before, but he didn’t bring it up that often. Pat laughed when he saw she was biting her lip to hold back her smile.

By this time they’d pulled up to Pat’s. She got out and went to her car, which was parked on the street. A lot more time had passed than they had both anticipated and she had to go home now. She said a goodbye to Pat and climbed into her car for the drive home.

At home she collapsed on her bed and smiled at the ceiling. Tim Kirch thought she was deep and he thought that she was cute when she blushed.

Mae’s phone bussed. Possibly the most unwelcome sound in the world right now because it was interrupting her replaying the whole encounter in her mind. She looked to find that it was John texting her. She sighed and opened up the message. Maybe if she answered he’d leave her alone, an unlikely possibility but worth a shot.

Want to hang out later? Going out. He said.

Who all is going? She turned it into a group thing at once.

The usual. Jarred, Garrett, Me, Pat, Kenny, Max, Nick. All those kids. He responded.

I’ll think about it. Not sure. She said not committing herself.

I want you to be there. He fired back in record time.

He always wanted her to be there. That was the problem.

I don’t know. She typed out with a sigh.

He instantly gave her all the information on the hang out. She said she still had to think about it.

:/ Are you upset? He asked.

No, why would I be?

You seem that way.

I’m fine.

Okay, See you tonight…maybe.

She didn’t send anything back after that. She didn’t want to. John assumed that the conversation was over when nothing came back. He tossed his phone on his bed and went downstairs to eat.

Again, Mae fell back into the replay that her mind so willingly created. Then she edited out that Pat was there and started to imagine other things happened, like Tim kissing her.

When her phone buzzed again she cursed under her breath. Can’t I have five minutes to live out a fantasy in my mind? Come on! She thought to herself.

Hang out tonight. Total sausage fest. You in to throw some girl into the mix? It was Tim.

He was welcome to interrupt her fantasy, kind of. She was still a little bitter about not getting through it but this was real, not made up.

I don’t know. John just asked me to come. I said I don’t know. She typed back as fast as she could.

Please. You could just say yes now.

I don’t know.

I know you want to go. It will be fun! He promised.

It’s always fun. I just don’t know.

Truth was, She didn’t want to be stuck with John and Tim in the same place. John liked her, she liked Tim, and she had no idea what Tim thought. He was so weird that she wasn’t sure if he was just this way with everyone and she was romanticizing things or he was into her. It was difficult to tell. He was seemingly into her one day and then it was like she wasn’t there other days.

She didn’t get anything back for a few seconds so she assumed that she’d stopped him from questioning her too. To test that out she lay back on her bed again and waited. Nothing happened so she slipped back into her daydream.

Just as she was getting to the good part her phone began to ring. She groaned out loud and picked the phone up. Tim hadn’t given up yet. He was calling her. This was new. Now he was being persistent like John. Maybe it was one of those days that he was seemingly interested in her. That would explain the conversation they had before.

“Yellow.” She said answering the phone.

“Green.” Tim shot back.

“What’s up?”

“No more colors?” He asked sounding sad.

“I’m seventeen not seven.”

“Well in that case let’s just be adults.” He said assuming a deeper voice than normal.

“What Timothy.”

“Well Mae with and e, I was calling to see if you’d thought about it yet.”

“It’s been five seconds.”

“Actually it’s been fifteen seconds.”

“Whatever. No I haven’t had a chance to even get to that yet.”

“Man you’re slow. I would have thought that through by now. What’s stopping you from thinking about it?”

“Aren’t you just wonderful.” She rolled her eyes and ignored his question.

“Whoa, are you upset?” He asked suddenly.

“No.”

It’s just that I can’t get through a fantasy about you without being interrupted.

“Then why do you sound like it?”

“I’m not. It’s just… I’ve been questioned about this before. John was asking before you started up. I want sleep or something.” She mumbled the last part because it was a lie.

“Should I let you go then?”

She wanted to say yes so she could keep thinking about him. However, having him on the other side of the phone was a bit better than fantasy.

“No, it’s not that bad.”

“I wouldn’t want you to be sleepy when we’re out tonight.” He said.

The way he said ‘when we’re out’ made it sound like he meant just them but then there she was again imagining things. She knew there was going to be a whole bunch of people there. Probably more than John had told her. There had to be other girls going. Some of those boys can’t go out with out their girls they’re so attached.

“Who says I will be there?”

“Oh, you’ll come. I know you will.”

“What makes you say that?” She challenged.

“You can’t stand to be away.”

“Away from what?”

“From us.” He said.

There went her imagination again thinking that he meant just himself and her but she knew that wasn’t what he was referring to. She had evidence that it wasn’t going to be just them but that didn’t stop her mind for imagining that it could be…

“Sure, I have to go.”

“You don’t really.” He said like he knew.

“Okay, I just want to get off the phone then.” She shot back annoyed that he’d figured it out.

“So you do have something to do. I’m sorry. I’ll see you later.”

“Mmhm sure.”

He hung up and so did she.

Now she really wanted to go out tonight. It was a Friday night so that just added to the need to get out. Every senior in high school went out on a Friday night. Who was she to not go out! Then again there was bound to be some awkward moments with both Tim and John there. It was always hard when they were both there. She wanted to give them equal amounts of attention, but she always ended up favoring Tim and leaving John out. It probably wouldn’t affect Tim.

A Beautiful Disgrace Chapter 2

Max’s place wasn’t that far and John had asked if Mae would come over. There was some sort of party going on and he wanted her to be a part of it. She said she would be there and got into her car. It was the weekend so she didn’t have to be home or in bed at any certain time. She was always up for going out until oh-dark-thirty and then coming home.

She knocked on Max’s door and a few moments later he opened up.

“What’s up Moose?!” She said hugging him.

“Hey! How’s it going? Glad you could make it!”His arms wrapped around her and he held her closer for a moment while giving her back a few rubs.

He led her into the house. There were a few people she knew there. John got up and hugged her. Nick was sitting on the floor with a beer and smiled at her. Justin and Eric were there as well. She was told that Loren was on his way.

So far this looked like it was an A Rocket To The Moon and John Oh party. She was fine with it because she knew all of these people and she loved them. They were as close to her as her skinny jeans.

A few girls came in. She recognized them too, Mandy and Krista. They were girls that had graduated last year in Pat’s graduating class and were good friends of Max. They were carrying more drinks. The bottles were set on the table and the cups were grabbed at.

The little party consisted of playing mild drinking games and poker. Mae was pretty drunk after a few beers since this was her first real time drinking at a party. She’d had a beer before but it was only one and she was buzzed for three hours off it. She was what you would call a lightweight. Everyone’s got to start somewhere though.

Loren arrived late but slid into the drinking just as easily as anyone else and was soon just as trashed as everyone there. It was like he’d been there the whole time.

John was getting buzzed and he was moving closer to Mae. She didn’t mind much. Her skewed perspective of reality told her this was fine, this was good. Maybe if she were ‘lucky’ he’d make a move. If she were sober this would frighten her.

They got into spin the bottle when Max finished his beer. He put it on the table and spun it. The bottle stopped on Loren. They looked at each other and then Max spun it again. This time it landed on Mandy and they kissed. Mandy was next so she spun it. The bottle stopped on Eric so she kissed him. So went the game. Mae kissed anyone and everyone who the bottle landed on. Boy or girl it didn’t matter to her. She was so wasted that nothing bothered her. This pleased the boys at the table and pushed Mandy and Krista to do the same for the attention that Mae was relishing in.

They tired of that game but John wasn’t tired of kissing Mae. He leaned over and pushed his lips to hers. She pulled him in and kissed back. His hands locked around her waist and she curled her fingers into his hair.

“Hey guys, spin the bottle is over.” Eric laughed swinging an empty bottle to prove it.

They didn’t respond to him, they just kept kissing. John was too into the pattern that her lips made with his. It felt so perfect to him. Mae wasn’t sure what she felt. The room felt like it was on its side but she wasn’t bothered. John was with her and she felt comforted by that. She pushed him to kiss her back harder.

That was how they were for most of the night. They were playing drinking games and John and Mae were curled up on the couch kissing in the corner. By that time he’d wrapped himself around her as best he could. She cuddled into him and they tried to eliminate space between them while still being able to let their hands touch one another in places they’d never touched before.

“Want to go somewhere less noisy?” John asked referring to their friends playing Quarters.

“Sure.” She agreed.

They made it into a spare bedroom where the kissing became more heated. Mae put her hands under John’s shirt though she had no idea what she was doing. She’d never gone this far with a boy before but it felt so easy. John was too scared to do to her what she was doing to him and kept his hands outside of her clothing. When John didn’t return this gesture Mae took her hands off John’s bare, flat chest and went back to keeping her hands outside of his clothing.

The morning came and woke Mae up. She looked at the clock and sighed. She’d spent three hours asleep. The rest of that time she had been attached to John at the lips. They hadn’t gone any further than making out but it had been pretty intense. She remembered all of it and then regretted what happened.

She wasn’t drunk anymore but her head hurt. She sighed knowing that she had a hangover though she’d never experienced one in her life. It was enough to make her never want to drink again.

John was still asleep next to her. His mouth was slack and he was snoring. She couldn’t believe that she’d made out with him all night in a house that wasn’t his or hers. She felt like she’d degraded herself.

Mae got out of the bed and walked out of the room careful not to disturb him. She felt horrible but she had kind of done it to herself. While the internal rant she had started went on she made her way towards the kitchen.

Max was in the kitchen along with Loren when she wondered in there. It was surprising to see that someone else was still here. That just meant there were more people waiting to see what she and John did–or didn’t–do.

“Have a good night?” Max asked looking Mae up and down and then looked slightly disappointed.

She didn’t look anymore disheveled than a girl who’d woken up from falling asleep in her own clothes. He was hoping for something more like she was wearing John’s shirt or something.

“Horrible.” She mumbled.

“He’s that bad huh?” Max joked knowing that she and John didn’t do anything remotely exciting.

“No, we didn’t do that.” She said waving off Max. “We just made out.”

“So he’s a bad kisser?”

“Aside with the making out with my chin that he did, not really. He’s alright I just feel bad about it.”

“He made out with your chin?” Loren asked with a smirk.

“Yea, it was weird. I have to go.” She said looking for her keys.

“No breakfast? I have tons of cereal.” Max offered.

“I need a shower right now.” She said heading for the door.

“You could take one here if you want.” Max said following her to get the door.

He knew she was going to refuse so he figured he should just walk her to the door even if she was walking faster than he was.

“No, but tell me if I smell like beer.” Mae stopped and turned to face Max.

Max leaned in and sniffed. He thought for a moment.

“Don’t hug anyone and you’ll be fine.” Max said.

“Thanks.”

Mae drove home and slipped into her house without anyone noticing. She went to her room and grabbed clean clothes before running to the bathroom. She felt so wrong.

She spent an hour in the shower washing off. When she got out she dressed in clean clothes and then went to eat something.

“When did you get home? I was up until three.” Her mom said.

Mae hadn’t even noticed her mom walk into the kitchen so she jumped at the first sound of her voice.

“I got in at three thirty. Sorry if I worried you.” She lied.

“No, that’s fine. Just call us next time.”

“I will.” She promised.

Her mother went to making coffee and her father came down soon after. Breakfast was quiet for the three of them. Mae was feeling guilty for lying and for what she and John did. She could remember everything that happened and she really didn’t want to. She wished that she’d blacked out the first time she got drunk.

When she was able to she went up the stairs to her room and sat on her bed unsure of what to do. She looked across the space between her house and Garrett’s. He wasn’t in his room but his window was open. She decided that if he came back to his room she’d see if he would talk about it with her.

Garrett was the one she went to with everything. He wanted nothing more than to help Mae with problems. That was what he was good at, besides a healthy dose of gossip wasn’t too bad as well.

Mae put a chair in front of the window and opened the glass pane up. She removed the screen and put it on the floor. There was only time before Garrett walked back into his room so she waited.

As soon as Garrett walked into his room he saw Mae waiting for him. She waved at him and then he knew there was something up. His gut told him that there was something wrong. He looked closely at her face as he put a chair up to his window. There was no screen for him to remove so he looked at her waiting for her to start.

“Last night…” Mae sighed.

“Last night you never came home.” Garrett said looking at her.

She looked down and picked at the windowsill. His gut feeling was right. There was something wrong today.

“What’s wrong?”

“I did something bad and I don’t think that it’s going to be very easy to fix.”

“What happened?”

“I went over to Max’s and they were playing drinking games so I joined in. John wanted me to come over and I thought ‘Hey, if everyone else is there and I haven’t seen Max in a while, why not?’ so I went. It was fun at first you know. I got drunk for the first time and all that. The games were fun.

“Spin the bottle was the last game that happened before John and I stopped playing. See we kind of got caught up in all the alcohol and the kissing…” Mae trailed off.

“So you got naked?” Garrett guessed.

“No, we went to a room and we just made out and touched and stuff but it was intense. It was further than I’ve ever been with anyone.”

“So what’s so bad about that? You just happened to gain some experience.”

“Yea, but it’s wrong.” Mae said.

“I don’t see how.”

“That’s because you’re thinking of this from John’s perspective. You think it’s awesome that we got drunk and made out because you’re a boy.”

“What do you want me to be?”

“I just want you to see that I feel dirty, wrong, and horrible for what I did. John shouldn’t have been subjected to that.”

“So, have you talked to him about it?”

“No.”

“So how is he supposed to know that that wasn’t right? He’s probably doing a happy dance because you like him.” Garrett leaned back in his chair so it was on two legs.

“I do not like him.”

“Well how do you feel about him then since I’m wrong on everything.” Garrett asked seemingly frustrated with her.

She picked at the windowsill where she had removed the screen and tried not to get her fingertips dirty again. Garrett waited impatiently for her to respond.

“I like him as a friend, as a brother would be more appropriate.”

“So then why can’t you just say that to him?”

“I have.” Mae sighed throwing her hands up.

“Then what’s with you guys? It’s all weird and stressed.”

“He wont give up and I can’t make him. He thinks that he’s going to get somewhere.”

“John is kind of persistent.” Garrett nodded.

“It makes me feel so damn bad because I don’t like him.”

“You can’t feel bad because you don’t like him. He’s like a brother to you and you can see where that’s weird.”

“Yea, but he can’t. It’s not that I feel bad about not liking him I guess.”

“Then what is it?” Garrett asked confused again by her words.

“I guess it’s that I like Tim and not John so I feel guilty.”

“Okay, what’s wrong with John other than that he’s like your brother?”

“There’s nothing wrong with him per se, it’s that I just don’t see him in that light. There’s no doubt in my mind that if I did date John that we’d be together for a long time. I know he’d be a great boyfriend and all that but I just don’t want to date him. He’s just not my type I guess.”

“Why do you like Tim?”

“Tim’s what I like. He’s just that. Ever since freshman year when I first saw him I liked him. There’s not really an explanation. I just do.”

“So why have to waited four years?”

“I haven’t. He just doesn’t notice me is all.”

“So make him notice you.” Garrett said like it was obvious.

“How do I do that? Because I’ve been trying for years and it’s not working. I’ve caught the attention of every guy but him. It’s like he fucking immune to girls or something!”

“Maybe he’s gay.” Garrett laughed.

“Oh you and I both know that isn’t true.” She said looking at Garrett.

“Well have you ever tried to tell him? Like written him a note or do something for him that you wouldn’t normally do for anyone and he knows it.”

“You don’t know how many times I’ve written something out, had it in my pocket, and then chickened out at the last moment before giving it to him. It just seems weak to give him a note. It seems high school.”

“You are in high school.” Garrett said leaning forward and pointing at her over the space between their houses.

“He’s not though.”

“Good point. But he still thinks like a high school boy.”

“Notes are out of the question. I have no courage to tell him. I do things for him all the time if he asks.”

“Want me to talk to him?”

“That’s third grade.” Mae sighed.

“Then what do you want me to do?” Garrett was frustrated again.

“I have no idea Gare Bear.”

He smiled at the nickname. Mae stood up and walked to her bed where she fell back and stared at the ceiling. How was this situation so freaking hard? Why couldn’t she effectively communicate to Tim that she liked him as effectively as she could communicate to John that she didn’t feel the same about him? Of course she must not have been doing a good enough job about John because he was still persistent.

“Are you not talking anymore?” Garrett called just louder than normal.

“I don’t know.” Mae said loud enough for him to hear.

“Come back here.”

Mae groaned and sat up on the bed. Garrett was looking at her and waiting for her to do what he’d asked. She got up and sat on the chair she’d placed in front of the window.

“What?” She asked.

Garrett just looked at her. She was frustrated that he wasn’t saying anything and that he’d forced her to get off her bed and come back.

He was looking at her face. He wanted to see if what she’d been saying was evident in her features. As Mae started to think back on what had been said Garrett started to see what he was looking for.

“Is there a point to you scrutinizing my face?”

“Yea, just trying to see what you’re saying and not saying.”

“Get anything?”

“Nah, I think you said everything.” Garrett said. “Do you want to go wallow in self pity now?”

“Not self pity, more like confused hell.”

“Okay. Call if you need me and we’ll start this up again.”

Garrett got up and closed his window. He walked out of his room to go downstairs and watch TV. Mae got up and put the screen back into her window but didn’t close the glass. She fell over on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

She thought back over the week and tried to see if there was any change in Tim. When she recalled the three brief encounters she had with him there wasn’t anything different than there had been before.

When she’d been in the kitchen with Pat, Tim, and John he’d been different. Tim had been playful and talkative with her. Now he was back to just nodding at her and smiling like always.

She had some hope after that one day that there was some thing that would happen like perhaps they would talk more often but it didn’t happen. There was the occasional text from him that she got but it was always just to say hey or ask what was up. Nothing really different than a way a person would treat an acquaintance.

She was disappointed with her musing and rolled over to hug her pillow. John started to text her but she ignored him. When she didn’t respond he called. She didn’t answer. A few minutes later the house phone rang. She ignored it.

“Hun, John’s on the phone.” Mae’s mom said coming into her room.

“Mmm.”

“He says it’s important.”

Mae rolled and picked up the cordless phone that was next to her bed.

“What?” Mae asked of the person on the other end of the line.

“I just wanted to know what was up is all?” John was a little thrown by the way she sounded towards him.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, do you want to hang out?”

“No. I’m tired. I didn’t sleep well last night. I think you would understand.”

“About last night, see I really called because of that.”

Mae rolled her eyes. Of course John had called about last night. As Garrett had said, he was probably doing a happy dance that she couldn’t see.

“Yea, that was… unplanned.” Mae said.

“That’s what I wanted to say. I mean there was beer and I don’t think that we acted on what we felt.”

“No, that was not what I meant to do. I’m sorry. It was wrong.”

“Oh, I didn’t mind at all.”

“I know you didn’t. I did though.”

“Yea, I know. I wish you wouldn’t mind.”

“What do you want to say John?”

“Sorry I guess.” He felt like it was one of those situations where he had to apologize again.

“Apology accepted.”

“Okay, see you later then.” John said.

“Sure.” Mae hung up.

She didn’t have the patience to give a proper goodbye. That was the most awkward phone conversation she’d ever had and she hoped John didn’t call back. That was the last thing she wanted.

A Beautiful Disgrace Chapter 1

Mae was in the kitchen of Pat’s house. John was standing at the counter looking down at her senior Spanish project slightly confused by the glitter she was laying down on the poster. Pat was sitting on the counter staring out the widow thinking about last night. More like Pat was thinking to himself what that all meant to Mae.

“How come you’re putting glitter on it?” John asked like she was working on a foreign being.

“Because the poster is supposed to be eye catching.” Mae said spreading some glue and then putting glitter over it to make a green sparkly ‘F’.

“So put stripes on it.” John suggested.

“That would be too much now. Besides, I’m not you. I don’t put stripes on everything.”

“Only band stuff.” John shrugged.

“Are you going to help me with this or criticize me?” Mae asked him.

“Okay, okay.”

John picked up the glue and started on the other end of the poster covering the letter ‘B’ with glue and then picking up whatever glitter was closest to him. He really didn’t want to do this, but he had no choice now. He’d agreed to help Mae with her project before he knew what it was. Glitter was something he almost despised. It got everywhere and it was impossible to get off. Even now the purple shiny specks were already climbing his arms like ants.

“Pat, what are you doing?” Mae asked.

“Nothing.” He said looking away from the patio furniture in the backyard with a smile. “Just thinking last night is all.”

John looked at Pat confused. He hadn’t been here last night. Mae started to giggle. She remembered last night and just thinking about it made her crack up. Her mind wandered to Tim for a moment and she didn’t know if he was still here in his old room or if he’d gone back to his house.

He was still here.

“What did I miss?” John asked not wanting to be left out.

“Last night we were just discussing this,” Pat said gesturing to the glitter, poster board, and glue, “when Tim came over with a few buddies. Mom fed them and them they went into the backyard, got drunk, and then something happened that appeared to be Tim giving that lawn chair a strip tease.”

“The lawn chair?” John said slowly like he wasn’t sure he’d heard that right.

“Yep, lawn chair.” Mae giggled, her face turning a slight shade of pink as she remembered the entire display.

“And his friends?” John asked.

“Well, it was Eric and Max.” Pat shrugged like that should be enough explanation.

“What did they do?” John wanted all the details.

“Giggled and threw suggestions at him.” Pat smirked.

“Did he take it that far?” John inquired like he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“He got naked.” Mae said blushing and looking down though her voice proved that she was happy to have been there last night to see it.

Pat saw her blush and rolled his eyes. He knew that Mae liked his older brother but he thought she was insane. She’d liked him since her freshman year when she met Pat. Pat was a sophomore and Tim was a senior.

Tim walked into a class that Pat and Mae had together and Mae was in love in that second. It turned out that Tim had that semester long health class with them and sat right between Pat and Mae the entire time. Mae and Tim talked on occasion and were more like acquaintances than friends. It was Pat and Mae that really got the friendship started in that first semester.

After that class Tim still had a smile and a nod for Mae when he saw her in the hallways and she was able to manage a smile. He didn’t sit with Pat and Mae at lunch, he had his senior friends that he went off campus with to do God knows what.

This was Mae’s third year without that nod and smile at least once a day. She kind of missed it but she’d gotten one last night when Tim rolled in. If he was still here then maybe she could get another. That made her lips stretch into a smile that no one knew the cause of.

She was afraid that all she would ever get from him was that nod and perfect smile because she couldn’t do anything but smile back at him. He scrambled up her thoughts like no one else. There was just no way to talk to him when he was right there. She could maybe get a ‘hey’ or an ‘what’s up’ out.

“You were loving it.” Pat decided to embarrass Mae as much as he could.

Mae felt her face fill up with blood. She kept her face down and let her hair fall over her shoulders to hide.

“So.” Mae said quietly.

John didn’t like that much. He knew that Mae liked Tim. John just wished that she would like him instead. He thought that she would have a better time with him. It wasn’t that he had anything against Tim other than he had Mae practically in love with him he just thought that he would be better for her. It was that horrible three-letter word that makes girls roll their eyes that made him think this way. Ego.

“I knew it.” Pat smirked again.

“Just because he looks nice…” Mae started to defend herself and then stopped.

Tim had just walked into the room. He wasn’t wearing a single scrap of clothing, but he was there.

“Whoa, this isn’t my house.” Tim said looking around the kitchen.

“No, this is where you used to live.” Pat said. “Put some pants on. There’s a girl here.”

Tim’s eyes roamed the kitchen until he found Mae right in the middle. She’d averted her eyes and put her hand over them. The blush in her skin was evident. Tim kind of smirked–the same smirk that Pat had–and then turned around to go to his old room.

“Sorry Mae.” He called over his shoulder.

She looked up just in time to see his backside and smiled. It was so nice. She let her mind for just one second start to think about his butt.

“Hey! Stop fantasizing about my brother!” Pat said jumping off the counter and pointing a finger in Mae’s face.

“You rather her think about you?” John asked.

“No, but I know you’d rather have her thinking about you.” Pat said dropping his finger and turning his gaze to John.

It was John’s turn to blush. He looked at his feet and kicked the floor with his black sock clad foot. He didn’t like it when people brought up that he liked Mae in front of her. He knew that she didn’t return his feelings and it was just stupid for him to keep being persistent. There was just something about her that drove him wild and he couldn’t stop liking her and thinking about her.

When John didn’t answer Pat dropped it. John had become all too good at stopping the embarrassment that Pat aimed at him when it involved Mae. He picked up some glitter and looked at it through its tiny vile of a plastic container. He wasn’t safe from getting glitter on his hands because it was on the outside of the vile. He got some flecks on his fingertips that he tried to brush off on his shirt but it only spread them.

“I hate glitter. Why do girls like it? It’s like the herpes of craft supplies!” Pat said putting the glitter vile down and shaking his other hand.

“That’s useless you know.” John said looking at Pat’s attempt to remove the glitter from his hands and smiling at the comparison of glitter and herpes. “You’re stuck with that.”

“It’s so gross.” Pat said.

Mae looked at her hands. They were covered in all sorts of glitter. She had easily ten different colors on her hands and up her arms. She shrugged knowing that a shower was all it would take to get rid of her glitter. How come boys make such a huge deal out of this stuff? She thought to herself.

“Just go wash off your hands.” Mae said.

John looked at his hands and then the poster. It wasn’t finished yet and Mae was working hard on it. He had promised her he’d help her with this project. John sighed and put his hands back into the glitter.

Pat looked at the poster and then at the sink. Glitter. He went to the sink. He didn’t like Mae like John did so he wasn’t going to subject himself to glitter. After a few moments of scrubbing and checking Pat was glitter free.

John got over his glitter aversion to help Mae get her poster near finished. His hands got just as covered in glitter as hers were. Mae got an idea into her head. She stuck her finger into the green glitter vile when John wasn’t looking and then wiped it off under John’s nose.

“Aha! I knew you had green glitter boogers!” Mae laughed.

John made a face and his hand went to wipe under his nose. He started to rub it and then realized that his hands were covered in his shiny mortal enemy. John looked at Mae with a smile forming on his lips.

“No!” She said.

But it was too late. John had wiped his whole hand on her cheek. He laughed at her shocked face. She hadn’t anticipated that from him. Pat sat back up on the counter and laughed at what was going on.

Mae retaliated with another glitter hit and it went back and forth until Tim walked into the kitchen, his shirt unbuttoned. Mae was caught off guard and let her eyes take in Tim’s chest and torso while he wasn’t looking. John took this distraction to get more glitter on Mae.

She turned to him and then it was an all out war with the glitter. Tim looked at the two fighting and his brother sitting on the counter laughing. What exactly is going on here? He thought to himself.

“Glitter?” Tim asked looking at the counter. “Why are you guys fighting over it? You gay John?”

The fight stopped. John’s hands trapped Mae’s wrists. He pulled Mae close to him and hugged her tightly. Tim looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Just because you hug her doesn’t mean you’re straight.” Tim said.

“I like girls.”

“Prove it.” Tim said folding his arms over his chest.

Mae narrowed her eyes. What is Tim going for? She looked up at her captor and he was staring at Tim. It was like there was a challenge passing between them. Mae tried to push away from John but he held her close. Pat sat in the corner interested and watching this little challenge.

Tim didn’t think that John would do anything. He never really did. Usually they would just stare each other down and then start laughing but this wasn’t happening. John looked down at Mae. She was still in his arms and she was looking up at him, waiting for him to release her.

John put his lips to Mae’s and kissed her. She pulled back startled and looked at John like he was insane.

“What the hell was that?” She asked.

“Tim said to prove I wasn’t gay.” John sounded shocked that Mae would respond to him like that.

“Let me go.” Mae said pushing away.

John couldn’t help but feel like he’d screwed up. He went to the sink and washed his hands and forearms of glitter. Tim stepped closer to the counter where Mae was now focusing all of her attention while his hands moved over the buttons of his shirt to close it up. He looked at the Spanish words and was only able to recall a few of them.

“What is this?” He asked her.

Mae didn’t respond. She was angry that John had pulled something like that when he knew that Tim was just joking. On top of that she was embarrassed that Pat and Tim had seen it.

“Mae?” Tim asked.

She looked up at the sound of her name saturated in Tim’s voice.

“What is this?” He asked again.

“Oh, Spanish project.” She mumbled.

“Mmm, glitter for Spanish.” Tim mused.

Mae went back to working. There were only two letters to finish on the top and then the last line on the bottom to finish. Tim went to the bottom of her poster and started spreading glue on the letters that were written on the poster. He picked up the glitter and started to sprinkle it on the poster. Mae hadn’t noticed him until they reached for the same vile of orange glitter.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were helping me.” She said embarrassed.

“Eh, glitter’s not so bad.” Tim said pushing the orange vile towards Mae.

They started working again and the poster was finished in less than half an hour. Mae looked down at it and checked to see if there was anything that she could improve. Tim filled in a little hole that he’d missed.

“Thanks for the help Tim.”

“No problem. Thought I should make it up to you because of the full frontal before.” He smiled.

Mae smiled back. She could have said something about that full frontal but she kept it to herself.

“Thanks Pat and John for your help as well.” Mae said turning to them.

They were both sitting on the counter now. John smiled at her and then went back to eating. If she was speaking to him then she couldn’t be that mad at him, right? Pat nodded his head though he didn’t do so much other than give her ideas last night.

Tim was at the sink when Mae went to wash her hands and arms. He scooted over for her to get her arms in. One of his hands was still covered in glitter so he touched the tip of her nose. She looked at him.

“Do you want to start a glitter war with me too?” She asked bracing herself.

“Maybe.” Tim smiled.

He went back to washing off his hands and there was nothing else said. He dried off his hands and arms before disappearing without so much as a goodbye. Mae finished washing up and then turned to look at the counter.

She slid the finished poster into a big garbage bag and closed the top of it so any loose glitter couldn’t get all over. She placed it on another table and then came back to the kitchen to clean up her glitter and glue supplies. Pat helped her while John refused to get covered in glitter again.

When everything was cleaned up Pat reminded Mae that she had glitter on her face still. She went down to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was glitter all over from John and then there was the glitter on her nose from Tim. The glitter on her nose made her smile.

She cleaned her face off, leaving her nose for last, and then went back to the kitchen.

“I have glitter on my shirt.” John said accusingly at Mae.

“You’re the one that hugged me.” Mae shrugged.

“True, but it’s still your fault.”

“If you want to get into it, it’s Pat’s because he came up with glitter as eye catching.”

“Pat, I damn you.” John said looking at Pat.

Pat laughed and then jumped off the counter.

“You’ve got glitter right here.” Pat said putting his finger just under the hollow of Mae’s throat.

She looked down to see and Pat moved his finger to hit her in the nose with it. He laughed at how gullible she was and Mae made a face.

“What the hell Pat?”

“You like saying that don’t you.” Tim said coming back into the room.

“I guess.” Mae said going back to being shy.

“Hey, all the glitter’s gone.” Tim said looking around.

“She put it away. She finished the project.” Pat said taking over because he knew that Mae wasn’t going to be able to form an answer.

“Oh. I was hoping she’d take me up on that war.” Tim winked at Mae.

She was taken aback for a moment. Was he really acting like this today? What had changed? Mae blushed and turned around. John was behind her.

John saw that faint pink in her cheeks and he sighed internally. Why must it be so easy for you, Tim, to make her look like that? John thought. All I want is to make her blush like that. He turned his eyes away from her and focused on the paint in the kitchen.

Mae was quite unable to speak at this point. She pretended to be washing her hands again as if she’d found more glitter somewhere–which was entirely possible–and hoped that no one brought attention to her.

Tim leaned against the counter right next to Mae and watched her hands for a while. I don’t see any glitter. What the hell is she doing? Beats me. Tim didn’t know what to say.

She shut the water off and looked for a towel. Tim picked one up and handed it to her. She was able to mumble a thanks and then dried off her hands. Tim watched her face not having to conceal it because she was trying not to look at him. He didn’t care if she caught him. He was trying to figure out what she was thinking.

Mae glanced over at Tim because she felt like he was watching her. His green eyes never flinched when their eyes locked. He looked at her with more focus. Mae’s breathing cut off. What is he doing? Then her thoughts were just a jumble. Tim’s eyes were determined and she couldn’t guess at what was behind them. He could see that she was confused and that was blocking everything else out in her eyes.

Frustrated he looked away from her. John had been staring at Tim and Mae so when Tim’s eyes met with John’s, John dropped his gaze like he was ashamed. Pat was oblivious to this and was just going on about what else could be done for Mae’s Spanish project. He’d just gotten a whole bunch more ideas.

“I guess I should get back to my place. Tuffy’s there all alone.” Tim said pushing off the counter.

Tuffy. The most adorable puppy in the whole world and he was Tim’s. Tim treated Tuffy like he was his son. The poor puppy was all alone in the house just waiting for his dad to come home.

Mae wanted to see Tuffy, but she chose not to say anything. There was no reason for her to be over at Tim’s house. Just because she wanted to see his dog didn’t merit a reason to go.

Tim said goodbye and went out the front door. Mae heard his car start up and then he was gone. John came up behind Mae and hugged her.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “Sorry about before. I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s fine John.” Mae said leaning into him.”Just don’t get caught up in a meaningless challenge again.”

“I won’t.” He promised before letting Mae go.

Pat watched this exchange. He could see what Mae couldn’t, John’s face. He could see how much John wished he didn’t have to apologize for kissing Mae, but he knew he had to. He knew that it was wrong when he knew how she felt towards him.

It was sort of like Pat was guilty. He was guilty of knowing a lot more than they thought he did. He knew that Tim wasn’t really interested in Mae enough to pursue her like John was. He knew that because Tim never talked about Mae, he talked about the girls he liked and there were plenty. Mae just simply wasn’t in that category.

The most obvious thing in the world to Pat was just how Mae felt towards his brother. He didn’t like knowing that for two reasons. One, Tim was his brother. No one likes it when their friend likes their sibling. Two, he knew it was hopeless for her and that it hurt John.

Complications were the dumbest things that the human race could have invented. That was sure in all of their minds.

Sometimes It's Better To Give In Chapter 15

Narration

Emmeline was lying in the bed of their latest hotel room. The covers were all askew and gently wrapped around the lower half of her body. Alex had gotten up to make a trip to the bathroom and she was lying on her stomach looking at her wedding ring, musing to herself.

Alex came back into the room and crawled back on the bed. He started planting kisses up Emmy's spine that stemmed from just above her backside. She smiled at the soft pressure of his lips and the way his hair lightly traced unintentional patterns on her back.

Her skin rose in goose bumps when he made it to the back of her neck. Alex kissed to her left shoulder and then doubled back to her right before returning to the back of her neck.

The entire honeymoon had been something of a never-ending love fest. Of course they had expected this in a way. They knew that the main focus of this time alone and cut off from the rest of the world would be on the time they spent in bed, but no one had told them just how strong and unsatisfiable these feelings were.

They found just how deep these feelings ran in them. To think it had taken a wedding to feel how they felt about each other now. It was like they weren't allowed to feel this way until they had something to merit it, something to make it legal.

The origin of these feelings that ran bone deep didn't much matter. What did matter was that they felt them. That Alex was still kissing her back and she was slowly turning over.

Alex skillfully kissed across the side of her rib cage as she rolled. He started his way up her chest and lingered in his two favorite places before their mouths were at last connected.

He slid easily under the mess of blankets and covers that adorned their bed and then it was easy to become what they felt. They embodied their feelings with each phrase muttered in the others ear and each noise and cry of pleasure, with each twist and turn of their bodies.

It was a simple thing to get lost like they had. There was no effort. This world was a world of their own and they had only but tasted it before they were married.

The honeymoon lasted through the plane ride and the drive home. They had news for everyone and they knew who they were going to tell first.

Courtney, Mikaela, and Zack had come across the country to see Alex and Emmy and to bring Sebastian back to them. Emmy had missed her baby dearly but having Alex like she'd had him the past two months almost made up for it.

Sebastian was the happiest dog in the world to see the two human beings he loved most again. He'd thought they'd left him and moped around for the first few weeks before he was able to be himself again. While he spent his time in California he would still jump at the sound of the door or run to the window to watch a passing car only to be sad that it hadn't stopped, but he'd gotten used to it. Now he was overjoyed to have his humans back.

Alex picked him up and cuddled him close to his heart. Emmy came over and started kissing Sebastian. He had kisses for both his parents as well. It was a cute reunion for Zack and Courtney to watch.

"Did you guys have a good time?" Courtney asked.

For the first time Emmy looked at Courtney. She saw that small but defined bump sticking out that Courtney had her hand on. Zack's arm was wrapped behind Courtney and his fingertips were rubbing the side of that bump while in his other arm he held their one year and five month old girl Mikaela.

"We had an amazing time." Emmeline said.

For an hour there were stories to be told about the things Alex and Emmy did outside of the hotel bedrooms. They had found time between those crippling desires and needs to make it outside for fresh air, sunlight, and the sights of Europe.

"Oh, and another thing that happened that is amazing." Alex smiled looking at Emmy to make sure it was okay and then continued. "She's pregnant."

"Ahh! We can be pregnant together!" Courtney was so excited it was hard for her to contain it. "I'll be slightly more pregnant than you, but it'll be together! How long?"

"A month." Emmy said.

"Awe, you're just starting out." Zack smiled.

"So we'll have seven months to grow together and then I'll have my baby two months before you!"

Those seven months passed rather quickly. Lots of things happened. Alex and Emmy got a girl puppy that Sebastian instantly decided was his girlfriend. Both Jack and Rian got engaged. Courtney had her second baby, a boy. Stephie and Kara helped each other plan their respective weddings. Emmeline's stomach grew and grew.

Alex was amazed at how different she looked. Every morning he would wake up and there would be this bump that he knew was his wife and baby. He would rest his head against Emmy and run his hands over her enormous belly all the while talking to the little baby inside.

That baby was a boy when he finally made his entrance into the world. They named him William Alexander, just a switch of Alex's names but fitting. He looked like Alex more than he did Emmy.

The inevitable pain of leaving for tour happened again. Courtney had a friend in California that baby sat for her while she went to her classes finishing out her senior year in college. The girl had gone through having two children-both born in the summer-and still keeping up with her school. Zack couldn't believe how amazing she was for this. She was a dedicated mother and a dedicated student all at the same time. She truly amazed him.

Emmy had been working while she was pregnant at the job she'd gotten with Six Flags in the design of roller coasters. She took a three-month leave after having William and took care of him during that time.

The three months were up and Alex was able to stay home with their son while she went back to work for a month before Alex had to leave for tour.

Emmy's mother stepped in and offered to help take care of the little boy while Emmy was working. She came home as soon as she could and took on all responsibilities of being a mother from the second her shoes were off after getting home to the second she had to get into her car in the morning to go to work.

Rian and Kara got married and then Jack and Stephie as soon as Rian and Kara were back from their homey moon. Then it was Jack and Stephie's turn to drop off the face of the earth and live in their own world for a time.

Time moved steadily and Courtney soon found herself pregnant again. She just couldn't help herself when Zack was around. He liked that they kept having children and didn't plan to stop any time soon. He loved this life. It was so perfect.

Courtney had finished school by this time and had a small photography business that she'd started with a friend. Now she was leaving the majority of the business to her friend and taking more time to be with her children. Her friend knew this was what she needed to do. Courtney still took pictures and had fun with her cameras, but she for the most part started to become the brains of the operation from home so she could be with her babies.

Alex and Emmeline had a second boy. Emmy was angling for another baby not long after that. She didn't want to be the only girl in the house besides the girl puppy they had. Alex told her to wait a little while.

Rian and Kara were the next to jump on the baby wagon welcoming a little baby girl into their lives. She was positively the most beautiful thing Rian had ever seen in his life. He could not conceive how he'd taken part in something this precious. She was like a miracle to him. This tiny living and breathing little girl was his and she was perfect.

Jack and Stephie were content to be themselves and be together for five years before they joined the baby wagon with a boy that they knew from the start was going to be just like Jack because he made a lot of noise all the time. It was like this little guy made noise just to hear himself and for no other reason that perhaps his own sounds were comforting to him.

Life was damn near perfect for all of them. It had balanced out the best way possible so that married life, children, and the band all fit onto one plate. They knew that they were blessed and so happy that it all happened this way.

_____________________________________________

No more. There won't anything more to this story. I'm done with it. I know this was short, but it's a sequel to the other Alex story so that's why. I hope you all liked it. I'll be starting a new story soon!!!

Sometimes It's Better To Give In Chapter 14

To you kids asking about Darren, I just faded his character out of the story. He was a year ahead of Emmy so he had already graduated by the time this was written. I just had no more use for him so he didn't show up anymore.

Emmeline

As time had a habit of doing lately it flew by. Courtney and I were on tour and then we were in England. We had to touch down in London and then take a train to Essex.

My mom was with us, Alex’s mom and dad, and our friends were all there. We checked into the hotel that we’d made reservations in. Alex and I shared a room, but the night before the wedding we were allowed to stay together as was tradition. Courtney was going to come stay with me and Alex was going to go stay with Zack. A trade as Courtney called it.

The first things we had to do were go look at where we were getting married, make sure that what we had asked for was going to happen, and to check on our food for the wedding. Everything seemed to be in order.

Courtney and I went out to go check on my dress and have the final fitting. She left Mikaela with Zack for the day. I knew that she wanted to get home as soon as possible to be with her baby, but she wanted to make sure that I got everything I needed done.

We went into the bridal shop. They knew who I was just because I wasn’t English. They had my dress in a fitting room for me already. We were led into the back of the store and I went into the fitting room.

The alterations specialist came in and buttoned up the back of the dress for me. She walked around me in circles and made notes. Then she asked how I felt in it and if there was anything that had to be done. The skirt of the dress had to be taken up an inch and the bodice had to be taken in just a little bit but other than that it was perfect.

Courtney wanted me to come out and show her. She’s seen me in the dress before, but she wanted to see me again. Her face was awestruck when she saw me. She hugged me and told me that I looked amazing.

“We still have to get you into your dress.” I told her.

“It’s ready?” She asked.

“Yep, it’s hanging in here.” I said gesturing to the white garment bag.

“Can I?” She asked picking up the bag.

“Go into the next room.” The alterations specialist told her.

Courtney took her dress and went to the next room. I stood in front of all the mirrors just looking at myself. It was all hitting me now that I was about to be married. I was going to be Emmeline Morgan Gaskarth, not Steingarten anymore. Tears came to my eyes because of how happy I was.

“Get ready!” Courtney said from behind the door.

She walked out in her dress, which needed no adjustment. She came to stand next to me and stared at the both of us. She ran her hands over her stomach to flatten the fabric and turned to the side. I assumed she was checking out what her butt looked like.

“That’s good, you can’t tell.” She mumbled to herself.

“Can’t tell what?” I asked her.

“Oh, just that there’s been a few changes in the last month.” She shrugged.

“Courtney…” I narrowed my eyes at her. “What kind of changes?”

“I’m… well, I’m pregnant again.” She smiled.

“Really?”

“Yea, I found out for sure this morning. I haven’t told Zack yet though so don’t say anything!”

“How do you know it’s been a month?”

“Well it’s been a month since we were doing stuff with out preventative measures…” She smiled.

“I’m happy. Baby numbed two!” I hugged her. “Now you’re just showing off.”

“No, I just love Zack too much for my own good. We’re going to keep making babies!”

“I’m jealous. I haven’t even gotten one yet.”

“Hey! You’re getting married in two days. It’s not my fault that you told Alex you had to wait until you guys were married!”

“But I’m happy for you!” I said hugging her again.

She stood there rubbing her stomach for a little while longer and checking every possible angle to see if you could tell that there was a tiny little baby hiding under there. I told her there was nothing visible. She nodded and then went back into her dressing room.

Hesitantly I took off my dress. I didn’t want to because I felt so perfect in it. It made me feel so good that I wished I could wear it all the time. I stepped out of the dressing room and the alterations specialist went in to get my dress. She took it to another room and went to start on what needed to be done.

Courtney came out with her dress in its bag.

“Check this out.” She said lifting up her shirt so her stomach was bare.

She turned to the side and traced her finger over her stomach.

“See that tiny little curve?”

“Yea.” I said getting closer.

“That’s my baby!” She squealed. “Touch it!”

I reached out and traced my hand lightly along her stomach. She started dancing around and making up a song about how she was going to have another baby. I laughed at her.

She was able to take her dress with her and I had to come back in two hours to try my dress on again. We put her dress in the trunk of the rental car and made sure it was laid flat so it didn’t get wrinkled.

We went for lunch and then came back. I put my dress on again and everything was perfect. I paid the last of what I owed on it and then we left the store. My dress got hung in the back of the car since it wouldn’t be able to lie flat in the truck.

I got into the right side of the car, weird, and drove home, on the wrong side of the road. It was so weird to be driving around here because it was all backwards.

Alex had Jack, Zack, Mikaela, and Rian in our room when we got back. Sebastian was sitting comfortably on the pillows just watching everyone. Courtney went and curled up against Zack on the bed and started playing with Mikaela like he had been. I took my dress to my mom’s room. She wanted me to put it on and show her so I did. She started to cry just like I had. I tried to make it as short as possible and took the dress off as soon as she’d let me. Then I was back to my room.

“What took so long?” Alex asked sounding very British kissing me as I sat in his lap.

He’d been talking like he’d lived here all his life since the first time he talked to another person here. He said it was just his accent coming back, but I knew he was doing it just to annoy every one because he thought it was funny.

“Mommy wanted to see me in my dress.” I smiled.

“Oh, I don’t suppose I can see that?” He asked with puppy dog eyes.

“Not until I’m walking down that isle.” I said.

“Fine.” He acted like a defeated child.

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. He smiled seemingly satisfied. When I wasn’t looking he licked my cheek. Everyone laughed at the face I made.

“Okay, so not to steal the attention for the cute little about to be married couple, but…” Courtney said.

Zack looked at her confused. I knew what was coming but he had no idea.

“I just wanted to say that you see three Merricks sitting in front of you, but there’s really four.”

Zack looked at her and smiled. She nodded at him.

“Really?” He asked as his hand went to her stomach.

She nodded again.

This clued in Jack and Rian who were lost. Just from Zack’s hand they figured out that Courtney meant she was pregnant again. Alex knew from the second she said she didn’t want to steal attention from us because he’d asked me in my ear if that was what it was.

“Yea, I’m preggers again.” She said kissing him.

“Yay!” Jack squealed. “More babies for me to play with!”

“Oh, you just like the fact that there’s another person that understands you and you understand them.” I said.

“Not my fault that I never matured past the age of five.” Jack smiled.

“Then whose fault is it?” Alex asked.

“Mom’s. She drank.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Okay, maybe it is. I did get my head stuck in my cradle one time if that helps.”

“Now that I can see.” Zack laughed.

“Explains a lot right?” Jack smiled.

There were a few more jokes at Jack’s expense before everyone filtered out of mine and Alex’s room. He was content to stay sitting in the chair with me on his lap. It would have been nice to go on the bed but he wanted to say in the chair.

“I love you.” He mumbled in my ear.

“Stop that!” I said shrinking away from him.

“What?” Alex was confused. “Stop loving you?”

“No! Never do that. I meant stop it with the British accent.”

“I can’t help it. I had one for seven ish years you know. It’s not my fault that I come home and it came back too.”

“It’s annoying. What if I don’t know it’s you in the middle of the night?”

“You’d know it was me Baby.”

“How you sound different!” I accused.

“I sound the same. I just talk differently.”

“Whatever. It’s weird.”

“I could just stop talking around you.” Alex offered.

“Mmm I guess it’s okay.”

“Most girls would think this is sexy.”

“I’m not most girls, Alexander. You know that.”

“Thank God for that. I might be deaf by now.” Alex giggled while kissing my collarbone.

“I could scream every time you walked into the room if you want.”

“Mmm there’s only one type of screaming I want to hear from you.” Alex said pushing his lips to mine.

I kissed him back for a while letting him think that he was getting somewhere. Alex’s hands went under my shirt. I didn’t mind much because he didn’t have a shirt on so I could just let my hands touch his chest. It was only fair that I allowed his hands to be where they were lingering.

Alex locked his arms around me a moment later and stood up to carry me across the room to the bed. I was vaguely aware that Sebastian hopped off the bed and scurried into another part of the suite. At this point it was hard to decide whether or not to let him have what he wanted or to torture him and make him wait until we were married. That was two days from now. It was do able.

“Alex.”

“Emmy.” He breathed in response.

Of course it wasn’t working. He was too far into the mindset that he gets into. There was no way to get his attention now so I just went along with it. It was pretty easy to get caught up in the moment with him and I would have been lying if I had said that I had it in me to stop Alex.

It was just that when we were together like this it was like the entire world was perfect. We were made for each other.

These thoughts I would never say to another human being–save Alex–but I couldn’t help but think them. To me they were true.

That night I laid against Alex and thought about the wedding that was happening the day after tomorrow.

“Are you nervous?” I asked Alex.

“About the wedding? No.”

“I am. I’m afraid I’ll trip.”

“The only part I guess I’m nervous about is the kiss. I don’t want to miss or anything.”

I giggled. That seemed like a lot less to be scared of.

There was a rehearsal the next day and Jack goofed off the entire time. There was just no calming him down. We couldn’t figure out what had him so excited that he couldn’t help but mutter–or scream–random thoughts that were in his head. Some of them weren’t even coherent.

People that Alex and I had invited to our wedding started to show up. They were pouring into the hotel and getting rooms that had been reserved for them. There were so many people to talk to that Alex and I were barely together or even on the same floor of the hotel.

I was on my way up a floor and got into the elevator. The elevator stopped and when the doors opened there was Alex. He grinned and stepped into the elevator.

“Hi.” I said.

“Hey.” Alex said before pushing his lips to mine and pinning me against the wall of the elevator.

The doors closed. I wound my fingers into his hair.

“Should we hit the emergency button and stop this thing?” Alex asked.

“Sounds fun.” I said reattaching his lips to mine.

We were to slow, or just to caught up, and the doors opened. Alex backed off of me and turned to see if anyone was looking at us. Thankfully there was no one there.

“Where are you heading?” Alex asked taking my hand as we stepped out of the elevator.

“Going to see my dad.”

“Can I come with? I haven’t said hi to him yet.”

“Sure.”

Together we walked to where I was told my dad was staying. I knocked and he opened to door. I hugged him with one arm because I was still holding Alex’s hand. Alex did the same and then we walked into his room.

“I’ve missed you.” I said.

“I missed you too hun.” My dad said.

We talked for a long time. I had to show my dad the picture my mom had taken yesterday of me in my dress. Alex had to go in the other room.

After that we still talked. There was a lot to say since I hadn’t seen him for a year.

“What’s with the accent?” My dad asked Alex.

“What? Oh, it’s just coming back since I’ve been here. Emmy hates it.”

“I don’t hate it. I just think it’s annoying.”

“You hate it.” Alex said pulling me into a hug.

“Oh, well I guess it would come back, you being from here and all.” My dad said.

A little while later I said good-bye to my dad and Alex and I split up again to see people. I was a little sad to be without him again but I knew there were tons of people I hadn’t said hi to yet and the same went for him.

We met up for a little while before Alex had to go to Zack and Courtney’s room and Courtney came to my room for the night. After all it was the eve of our wedding and Alex could not spend the night with me.

“I think that’s about all you need.” Courtney said stepping back from me.

She put a mirror in front of me and I looked at myself. This was not the girl that came into the back room of the church. She was totally different from me.

This girl that was in the mirror was staring back at me with my dress on and my veil was being put in her hair elegantly combining with the hair that Courtney had just finished. She had a smile on her face that was entirely mine. Her face had been made up to be something that was more beautiful than I could have imagined.

The hardest part of all this was realizing that the girl in the mirror was me, not someone else. I was about to walk out of those doors and meet my father in the hall before he wrapped his arm around mine and we walked into the church. It was all starting to be real for me.

Courtney looked at me and smiled mischievously. I looked at her confused. She held her hand up for me to see. In her hand was the soft and lacy blue garter she’d bought me as a present to serve as the ‘something blue.’

My earrings were old, my dress was new, the garter was blue, and my necklace was barrowed. I was ready to go with all the traditions covered.

Courtney lifted up the front of my dress. I picked my leg up for her and she slipped under to slide the garter into place on my leg.

“Ready?” She asked me.

“Nervous but so ready.” I said taking one last glance in the mirror.

My mom opened up the door to the room we were in. My dad was outside waiting. I walked out of the room and up to him. He seemed to not have any words at the moment.

“Do I look okay?” I asked him.

“Okay? You look amazing.” He said. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thanks.” I blushed.

Courtney was behind me fixing my train so that it was straight when I walked out. My mom went to let the priest know we were ready to start. The music flowed up from the church and I felt butterflies flutter through me. This is it I thought.

My dad curled his arm around mine. Courtney handed me my bouquet. The doors opened and we started walking.

My eyes settled on Alex right away. Seeing his face was priceless. I could see how taken back he was by my appearance. I could see that it wasn’t what he was expecting and that it was better. I smiled and his face broke into a smile.

Before I knew it we were standing in front of each other. My dad kissed my cheek and then put my hand in Alex’s. He went to sit down and Alex and I took a few steps to be front and center.

Jack wiggled his eyebrows at me and winked when I looked at him. I smiled at him and looked over at Courtney. She was glaring at Jack and I knew that meant behave. Jack looked at her with an innocent expression.

The ceremony started. Alex and I giggled the whole way through it.

Jack pretended that he couldn’t find the rings, which caused people to laugh when he pulled them out. Of course Jack would pull something like that. I couldn’t have expected him to be totally normal the whole way through.

“Alexander William Gaskarth, do you take Emmeline Morgan Steingarten to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.” Alex said looking at me.

“Emmeline Morgan Steingarten, do you take Alexander William Gaskarth to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Alex turned to me and lifted my veil from my face. I smiled at him. He smiled back. I thought back to when he’d said this would be the only part he was nervous about. He put one of his hands on my cheek and curled his other arm around me. I out my arms around his sounders and pulled myself closer to him. Alex tilted his head and closed his eyes. I closed my eyes and then our lips met.

When people started cheering I heard Jack finally able to let out that screech he’d wanted to do so badly.

Alex and I pulled back and smiled at each other.

“’Ello Wife.” He said, that annoying accent still there.

“’Ello Husband.” I said trying to mock him.

Alex laughed and rolled his eyes at me. Together we walked out of the church and got into the waiting limo while people threw rice at us. Zack, having a pretty good arm, got us in all the places that would cause the rice to get into our attire.

I got into the limo and then Alex jumped in behind me. The door shut and rice was still thrown at the limo. Alex leaned over and pulled me into him. I connected our lips and the limo started on its way to the reception.

Alex’s hand made it’s way up my leg underneath my dress. He pulled on the garter but didn’t pull it off. He knew he had to do that later when everyone was watching. He just caught his hand in it and played with it while we kissed.

The limo ride wasn’t long enough. Alex pulled back from me and I straightened out my dress. The limo driver opened the door for us and we got out. There were people there already and they were happy to see us. The congratulations started up. We went from person to person hugging them and thanking them.

It was time for wedding pictures then. Alex and I were able to get away for a little while and take pictures. It wasn’t long enough–which seemed to be the theme of the day–and then we went into our reception.

There never seemed like there was a moment to eat. Every time Alex and I went to eat something someone would knock their knife against their glass and we’d have to kiss. It was fun to do it over and over.

More traditions were covered in that reception. Alex pulled me with him out to have our first dance. I clung to him and hoped that my dress didn’t get in the way of our dancing. He held onto me and we stuck to a small circle to dance in.

The song ended and then it was time for the removal of the garter. I sat in a chair and Alex walked up to me with a devilish grin on his face. I knew this was going to be interesting.

He walked up to me and got down on his knees. He lifted my dress up and slid it until my garter was visible. I was highly aware of the people watching this and turned a shade of pink.

Alex kissed his way up my leg–that tickled a lot–and then caught the garter with his teeth. He pulled it off slowly while looking up at me. I laughed at him and at the fact that people were watching this.

When it was off Alex shot it across the room at Zack. He caught it and smiled. Courtney stole it from him. I knew that she was going to give it back to me later.

All the single girls at the reception then gathered on the dance floor. I stood with my back to them and tossed the bouquet behind me. I listened and waited. One girl screamed when she caught it. I turned to see Kara standing victorious with it in her hands.

The night continued on with a lot of fun and jokes.

Alex’s parents came over to us. His mom had something in her hands. She smiled as she presented it to us. It was the game monopoly. Alex laughed.

“This is so you have something to do later on in bed.” His dad smiled.

“Yep, because nothing else will happen.” Alex rolled his eyes at the joke.

I took the game and thanked his mom for saving me from boredom.

Similar jokes went around that Alex and I weren’t going to have anything to do when we got back to where we were staying or on the honeymoon. It was all in good fun and we laughed at the jokes.

We left our reception early and get into the limo again. I snuggled into Alex’s side and put my head on his shoulder.

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you.” Alex lifted up my chin and pushed his lips to mine.

The limo took us to a new hotel that was far away from where we’d originally been. All of our luggage had been transferred during the day. This was the start of our honeymoon. We were starting out in England then going around Europe for two months before we made it back home. This was the part that we had saved our money for since we got engaged.

The limo pulled up and we got out. The hotel desk gave us our key and we went to our room. It was the biggest and nicest room the hotel had on the top floor with a beautiful view.

“We should have brought Sebastian.” I said looking out the window.

“He would be doing a whole lot of hiding. Besides he likes Courtney, he’ll have a good vacation in California with her and Zack and the baby.”

“I’m going to miss my baby.” I said.

“Me too, but for now let’s be us.” Alex said pulling me into his arms.

None of what I had worried about mattered anymore. All that did matter was where the bed was and how fast we could get out of our attire.

Alex pulled me to him and started with the kissing. I had to help him with the buttons on the back of my dress. At least all of his clothes were rather simple to remove.

Once we were down to our underwear we got on the bed. From there it was easy to slip into our mindset of just being together and doing what came natural.

The entire night was beautiful. After the initial first as husband and wife we put on the robes that came with the hotel room and Alex ordered a bottle of red wine.

The wine was brought up faster than any room service I had ever had. He opened the bottle and poured us both a glass.

We dank the entire bottle and then got back into bed feeling warm. We continued on where we had been before the wine.

____

One more chapter!

Sometimes It's Better To Give In Chapter 13

Emmeline

Time flew by so quickly. Touring happened so fast it seemed so short this time. It could have been because I knew what was coming after another year. Soon enough it was a month before Alex and I were getting married. I was concerned with all the last minute details with the wedding and he was finishing out the last leg of his tour.

Of course there was school too. It was my senior year and I was in my last week of school. All my tests had been for the most part taken and I was just waiting to see what my grades were going to come out to be. I finished all the hours I had to in order to get my masters in Physics. I had a job lined up with Six Flags for working on the design of roller coasters and I couldn’t wait to start working.

Alex is coming to be home in a week to see me graduate and then we are going to fly that night back to the tour he is currently on and finish it out before coming back here. Once we get back here it’s the last details and then we fly to Essex to get everything ready for our wedding and then get married.

So many things were happening at once it was hard to focus on anything. That week flew by and before I knew it I was standing in the airport waiting for Alex. He walked out of the gate and pulled me into a hug.

“Hello my little graduate!” He said kissing me.

“Not yet, that’s tomorrow.” I said kissing him back.

“I have a surprise.” Alex said.

“Mmm?” I asked just enjoying holding onto him.

“Everyone is back to see you walk across that stage!” He said.

“What?” I asked and looked up to see Rian, Jack, and Zack smiling.

I just about squealed and hugged them all. I wanted them all to be here and I was only expecting Alex because it would have been hard for them all to come but they came for me. This was also good because Courtney and Mikaela had been staying with me for a week since her school had let out earlier than mine so Zack could see his wife and his baby girl.

Everyone piled into my small car and I drove home. Courtney had no idea as far as I knew that Zack was coming home. She had said she was sad he wasn’t going to make it so that made me think that she had no idea.

When we walked in I called out her name. She wandered out sleepily and looked at me. Then she looked around and saw Zack standing in the entryway taking his shoes off.

“Baby!” She yelled and ran to him.

He caught her and spun her in a circle.

“I thought you weren’t going to make it!” She kissed him all over his face.

“I couldn’t miss Emmy graduating and I couldn’t miss seeing you and Mikaela.”

“She’s sleeping right now. I just fed her.”

They went hand in hand down to the guest bedroom to see their baby. Zack hadn’t held her in two months and I guessed that he wasn’t going to wait for her to wake up to hold her. Rian went down to his room and curled up on his bed while he waited for Kara to get home. I guess she knew that he was coming home but she was at work today.

Jack asked me to take him home so he could see his Stephie. I said I would and told Alex to go lay down because he looked tired. He wanted to go with Jack and I though.

The three of us got back into my car and we drove Jack home. He went inside and I headed home. Alex and I got lost in talking about what was coming. There were so many things a head of us and somehow we knew that we were going to make kids fit into it.

When we got home Zack was on the couch with little Mikaela sleeping on his chest. Courtney was sitting at one end with Zack’s head in her lap. She was playing with his hair while he slept.

I smiled when I saw that and couldn’t help but imagine Alex and I like that. He put his arm around my back and took me to our room. Sebastian leapt off the bed as soon as he saw Alex and started jumping and crying. Alex picked him up and let Sebastian give him kisses.

“I missed you buddy. Soon we got to go on tour together. Are you excited? You and mommy!” Alex said taking Sebastian to the bed with him.

I followed and put my head on Alex’s shoulder. Sebastian gave us both kisses and demanded attention until he was satisfied and laid down against Alex’s hip.

Alex lifted my face to his and pushed his lips to mine. We kissed for a long time. It had been so long since we’d been able to do this. I had missed him so much. Sebastian realized he wasn’t going to get any more attention and got off the bed. He left the room.

I stopped Alex and got up to shut the door and lock it. When I came back to the bed I pulled my shirt off and he did the same. That made it pretty obvious what I was thinking. Alex undid my bra with one hand and with the other worked on my jeans.

It was a sweet way to say hello to each other after two months of talking on the phone and not being with each other.

I woke up the next morning on the other side of the bed. Alex was stretched out over most of it and I had the edge. I didn’t miss this part. I was happy to have to bed to myself when he was gone because I wasn’t forced off it, but it was his originally before I moved in.

Alex was on his back so I got up and crawled to lie on top of him. He made a face and curled one of his arms around me. I started kissing his face and neck.

“What?” He mumbled.

“I have to get up soon.”

“Why?” He asked sleepily.

“Graduation, remember?”

“Oh, yea. That.”

Alex curled himself up around me and snuggled his face into my hair. I took that as him saying I wasn’t going anywhere for a while. With one glance at the clock I decided I had plenty of time to lie here with him.

“I’m excited.” Alex said later on when he could keep his eyes open.

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“Lots of things are happening with us. You’re graduating, I’m in an awesome band that just keeps getting better, we’re about to get married, and you’ve got a great job lined up for when we get back from our honeymoon. Somewhere in all of this we are going to have kids. It’s just all so amazing and surreal at the same time.”

“Surreal?”

“It seems like yesterday I couldn’t have you and the day before that girls were icky.” Alex giggled. “It’s just going fast.”

“Isn’t that how everyone says life goes?” I asked looking up at him.

He was staring at the ceiling with his eyebrows pulled together in the middle. He was thinking on something before he answered. I reached up and let my fingertips trace the stubble on his cheek while he thought.

“I just hope it slows down for a little. This is where I want to be right now and I want to have time to enjoy it.” Alex smiled down at me.

“I love you.”

“I love you my graduate!”

“You really like that, don’t you.” I said.

“I’m proud of you. I could have gone to college and been boring but I chose this life and you went through college to get a great life and all that.”

“Oh, so now I’m the boring one.”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that. Ahh, that came out wrong.”

“It’s okay. I’ve known you long enough to know what you mean.”

“Okay.”

“I have to get up now.” I sighed.

“Me too?”

“If you want to go have breakfast with my mom and I.” I said.

“Yea, that would be nice.”

Alex pulled me in for a kiss. Softly his lips touched mine and moved slowly. I melted into him and got lost in the kiss. We were lost to each other and everything that meant the world to us was at our lips. If we let go it felt like it would have been a crime.

When I did get out of bed it was one of the hardest times I’d had. There were no words for how much I really loved Alex. He followed me out of bed and into the closet.

“Hey.” Alex said as I started looking at possible clothes options for the day.

“What?” I asked.

“You look good naked.” He smirked.

“Thanks.” I blushed and then looked at him. “So do you.”

“Cool, I just wanted you to know that.”

“Maybe when we live on our own I’ll be naked more often.”

“I’ll do the same.”

He walked deeper into the closet past me and pinched my butt as he walked by. I was quick and slapped him on his butt. We both laughed and then went to getting dressed. He was ready before I was.

I was pulling on a button down shirt while Alex stood there with his arms folded over his chest. It was hard to not stare at him instead of buttoning my shirt up. There was nothing more I wanted than to get back into bed with him. It was just one of those days I’d rather be lost in the sheets than go out into the world.

“Let me help you.” Alex said unfolding his arms and walking towards me.

His lips were against mine before I could tell him I was capable of dressing myself. His hands went to the buttons on the bottom of my shirt and started pushing them into their corresponding holes.

This was a win-win situation. I got dressed and got to kiss Alex all at the same time, though I wished it was kissing him and getting undressed.

“I bet that was weird.” I smiled at him.

“I’m used to the other way.” He laughed. “So it was a bit of a challenge.”

The clock told me it was time to leave already so we left our room and went to his truck. My mom met us for breakfast, a little surprised to see Alex but happy with it.

Our morning went well. We talked about what I planned on doing as soon as I was back here and married. My mom had to bring up the fact that when I came back here to the US I would be a British citizen rather than a US citizen so I’d have to have a green card. Alex thought that was kind of funny and then let my mom see his when she asked what they looked like.

“How come you don’t want to be an American citizen?” My mom asked.

“When I get old I plan on going back to England. It’s where I was born and where I’m going to die.” Alex said simply. “Besides, England is the only other girl that has stolen my heart.”

“Who is the girl other than England because it’s not me!” I smiled.

“Oh, this girl who’s about five foot seven with brown curly hair and the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. The standard, you know.” Alex shrugged and the kissed my nose.

At this point my mom was absolutely melting in her seat. When she saw Alex and I like this she got all mushy. I kissed Alex quickly and then turned back to my mom. Alex’s hand slid to my leg. I scooted closer to him.

When I looked at my mom she had a tear in her eye. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

“My baby is all grown up.” She said.

“Awe Mom!” I said not wanting her to cry. “Don’t do that.”

“I can’t help it. Today you’re graduating, tomorrow you’re leaving to go on tour, then you come home for all of three days before we all go to England and then you get married.”

I wanted to hug my mom but she was on the other side of the table. So as soon as breakfast was finished I got up to hug her and told her everything was going to be okay. Alex hugged her to and she made him promise as she had on many occasions that he would take care of me for her. As always Alex sweared to her in the most sincere way that he would take care of me and that assured her.

We parted ways with my mom and headed back to the house. Zack and Courtney were on the couch. I asked where Mikaela was and Courtney said she was sleeping. I nodded and went down to change for graduation.

This didn’t take that long since I had everything laid out days in advance. When Courtney had first arrived here with Mikaela the first thing we did was go shopping for some thing to wear for this.

After I was dressed I picked up my graduation robe and came back out to the family room. Zack had curled himself around Courtney and they were engaged in a slow deep kiss. I felt my face flood with heat and turned around. I still felt strange watching other people’s intimate moments.

Rian, Kara, and Alex were all in the kitchen so I went to join them. There were still a few minutes before I had to leave. I had to go half an hour before them to get into line and prepare for graduation.

Alex stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist. He leaned against the counter and I leaned back into him. I put my left hand on both of his. He reached with one of his hands to absentmindedly play with my engagement ring. That was something that we both did all the time.

The time came that I had to leave so I kissed Alex goodbye even though I’d see him in an hour or so. Everyone else got hugs and then I was in my car and on my way to school.

What seemed like forever was only half an hour. People were in the wrong spots in line, things were lost, speeches were being prepared and all I was doing was just watching.

To me graduation held nothing special. It was the same way for high school. I just wanted to get it over with. Sure it symbolizes moving on and becoming an adult or whatever else you want to tack onto it, but I just didn’t care. I felt like I was more of an adult because of what I had ahead of me, not because of what was happening at this moment.

The long line of caps and gowns started to move out of the building. I pushed off the wall I was leaning against and waited for the girl in front of me to start moving. It wasn’t a long walk to the ceremony area. We sat down in our chairs as the row was filled.

Speeches from the dean, principal, and teachers started. I half listened and half day dreamed. I just wanted to walk across the stage for my degree and then get out of here. I wanted Alex.

My row stood up and I followed them to get into line. Names were being called out and students were becoming graduates. Soon enough it was my turn to walk up the steps. I waited a moment while the girl who was in front of my left the stage and then my name was called.

I heard a whole bunch of cheering going on and looked over to see family and friends. I smiled while I shook hands and received the paper that said I had a masters in Physics.

When I walked off the stage a photographer snapped my picture. I have no idea why because I wasn’t going to buy it. My mom might though. I sat back down in my chair and talked to a few people that I knew near me.

As soon as all the graduates had been across the stage and we all had our degrees there was the hat toss. I threw mine into the air with everyone else and then picked up whatever one landed near me. I didn’t care if it was mine or not.

Families started poring from the stands. I walked around aimlessly waiting to be found or to find someone. It would have been slightly easier if I had taken my phone with me.

I felt hands sliding around my waist and kisses on my neck. I turned and threw my arms around Alex. He pulled me into a tight hug and lifted me off the ground. I kissed his cheek and then snuggled my face into his neck. Nothing else mattered much.

The rest of my family and friends, even Alex’s mom and dad were there, found us so we stopped ignoring everything around us. It was congratulations all around for me and for my parents. My mom and dad were civil considering they were in such a close space together but I knew that they were trying. I attempted to ignore their pretend kindness to each other.

It was my choice of where to go for dinner. I wanted breakfast for dinner so I said we were going to Denny’s. That was a crowd pleaser so we all piled into the various cars. Alex had come with Rian and Kara so he told them he was going with me and hopped into my car.

I took a moment to get in because I was taking my robe off. I didn’t want to eat in it. As soon as I got in the car Alex was checking me out. His hand ran up my leg and then over to the inside of my thigh.

“You know, you look nice in dresses.” He said. “I think you should wear them more often.”

“Special occasion.” I said moving his hand.

I straightened out my dress and then pulled my car out of the parking lot. I led the way to Denny’s. Alex held my hand the whole time. We didn’t talk but we smiled and giggled a whole lot.

We made it a little before anyone else so Alex leaned over and kissed me. I kissed back and then we were lost. When he heard another car behind us he pulled back. It was just in time too because it was Jack and Stephie.

Jack got out of his car and came up to our window tapping on it like a police officer.

“Now,” he began like he was a policeman, “you kids are just to young to be doing this in a parking lot. Move along before I have to call your parents.”

“Jack, you don’t have to do that.” I said smiling up at him.

“It’s Officer Barakat to you.” He said pointing dramatically at his imaginary badge.

“Okay Officer Barakat.” Alex sighed.

The two of us got out of the car.

“Now cooperate or I’ll have to do a full cavity search.” Jack said slipping out of the cop voice and into his normal voice while wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I pushed his face away and laughed telling him he had no chance.

Everyone arrived and we went in for breakfast as dinner.

Sometimes It's Better To Give In Chapter 12

Emmeline

The phone woke me up in the middle of the night. Alex groaned and rolled over while shoving his face under a pillow. I sat up holding the covers to my chest and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” I asked sleepily.

“Hey Emmy. Sorry it’s so late.” Zack said from the other side of the phone.

His phone call in the middle of the night, make that two in the morning could only mean one thing. Courtney was having her baby.

“Is she?” I asked.

“They just took her in. She told me to call you and that I wasn’t allowed in until I called you and Alex.”

“Okay, we’re on our way.” I said.

“See you in a few hours.” Zack said.

“Bye.” I hung up.

When I flipped on the light Alex groaned again. He pulled himself out from under the pillows and looked at me confused. I started to get out of bed and he rolled so he was on top of me.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He said sleepily.

“Alex, we have to go.” I said pushing him off me.

“Why?” He whined.

“Courtney is having her baby.”

“Oh… OH!” Alex got out of bed.

He went across the room faster than I’d ever seen him go before. He opened the door and ran down the hall in the direction that would take him to Rian’s room. I laughed to myself thinking of what Rian’s reaction would be when he saw that Alex was naked.

“Dude! Go put pants on!” I heard Rian yell.

Alex came running back into our room and went into the closet while still shouting at Rian that we all had to leave and get on a plane to go see Courtney and Zack. He was throwing clothes on and running back to the phone to call Jack and Stephie when I went to get dressed.

I got dressed and threw some clothes for the both of us into a suitcase and then put Sebastian’s things together. Baz came into the closet and looked at me sleepily. I picked him up and cuddled him for a moment while he closed his eyes and fell asleep in my arms.

“Come on! There’s no time for puppy cuddling!” Alex said running back into the closet.

“Jeeze Alex, I never thought you’d be this excited.” I mumbled getting up.

“It’s our best friends having their first child!” He whined when I didn’t get up fast enough.

He took the suitcase that I had put together and went out of the room. I grabbed Sebastian’s crate and carried him out to the front of the house. Good thing it was the middle of August so it wasn’t so cold at night as it would have been if it were winter.

Rian and Kara wandered out of the house and put their suitcases into the truck before climbing in the back.

I got on the phone and started making arrangements to catch the next flight to LAX. Alex was driving to the airport where Stephie and Jack were supposed to meet us. After I’d made all the arrangements and reserved seats on the plane for the six of us and Sebastian, I leaned against the seat and let to warm bundle of fur lull me to sleep.

Alex woke me up by simply taking Sebastian out of my arms. I woke up as soon as the warmth was gone and Alex was standing on my side of the truck with the door open and a slightly angry but sleepy Sebastian in his arms. The poor puppy was probably just starting to sleep well.

I got out of the truck and opened up the crate for Sebastian. He walked into it with his tail down. He really hated the crate but understood that he had to get in it if he wanted to go with us. I carried him while Alex carried our suitcase. Rian and Kara found Jack and Stephie in the parking lot while we were getting Baz squared away.

We all went into the airport and I finished working out all the details for the flight at the desk. Everyone paid for their tickets and we were just in time to board the plane. I was able to take Sebastian on the plane with us, which was good because if he had to go in the cargo hold there was no way I was going. I couldn’t put my baby in the bottom of the plane and hope he didn’t die.

When the plane was in the air I pulled Sebastian out of his crate under the seat and he curled up in my arms. I fell asleep against Alex’s shoulder and he put his head on top of mine. We slept the whole five-hour plane ride to California.

As the plane touched down I woke up. Sebastian was still asleep. Alex woke up after I did. He kissed me and the looked out the widow. It was still dark out. I checked the time on the plane clock; it was four in the morning in California.

We all got off the plane together and got into a van that took us to the nearest hotel where we made reservations and dropped our things off in the rooms. I had to leave Sebastian in the room because he couldn’t go to the hospital. He just curled up on the bed and went to sleep not caring if we were there or not.

The six of us got into another van taxi and went to the hospital. Alex called Zack to let him know where we were. Courtney was still in labor but her contractions were getting way closer. I couldn’t wait to see her baby. She knew if it was a boy or a girl and she hadn’t told me. She liked to make me squirm for the details.

We arrived at the hospital and Zack met us outside. He told us that they were going to start the whole process soon so we got into the hospital and went to the third floor where Courtney was. We had to wait in the waiting room while Zack went back into Courtney’s room. He came out one more time to let us know that the baby was on its way and then he ran back to the room to hold Courtney’s hand.

I curled up next to Alex and gave him a few kisses. He snuggled me into his arms and told me that one day we’d be in Zack and Courtney’s situation. We had a while longer to go since we couldn’t get married for another year and three months but I wanted to be here with him. Kids were something that I wanted badly with Alex. It just seemed right.

An hour later Zack came out with the biggest smile I’d seen on his face since the day he got married. He told us that two at a time we could come in and see the baby. He was sticking with Courtney and not telling us if it was a boy or a girl. Zack said Courtney wanted Alex and I to come in first.

Alex got up and took my hand. We followed Zack into Courtney’s room. She was sitting up on the bed with a tiny little bundle in her arms. I squeezed Alex’s hand when I saw there was a pink blanket around the baby.

“A girl!” I said.

Courtney’s face lit up. “Yea.”

“What’s her name?” Alex asked peering down at the tiny little girl.

“Mikaela Nicole Merrick.”

“Awe that’s cute. MNM.” I laughed.

“Yea, Zack thought we should make her initials MNM and then it all fell into place.”

Alex asked if he could hold the little girl. Courtney handed her over to Alex and showed him where to put his hands so he could support her properly. He looked down at the little girl in his arms and smiled at her. I watched Alex hold her and talk to her. It only made me want to have a baby with him more.

He looked up at me and asked if I wanted to hold her. I held my arms out towards him and he carefully placed her in my arms. I pulled her close to me and looked down at her. She had a tiny bit of curly hair from Zack on the top of her head that was Courtney’s color. When I looked at her face I saw Courtney and Zack in her all over. She had Zack’s eyes and Courtney’s nose but a combination of both their mouths. She was the cutest baby I’d seen yet.

I handed her back to Courtney and she curled back up with her. Alex stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I leaned into him.

“You guys need to get married already! I want to see what your kids will look like!” Courtney said.

“Not for a little more than a year.”

“It sucks that you guys have to wait so long.” Zack said.

“It’s not bad. We want to have the wedding we have been planning so we’ve got to schedule where touring hasn’t been scheduled.” Alex shrugged. “When we started, two years was where we had to go because of our touring schedule.”

“Still it’s a long time.” Courtney said.

“It’s passed by quick. The first year has gone by rather fast. We only have a year and three months until our wedding day.” I said.

“Plus,” Alex said, “Then little Mikaela will be old enough to go to England and be there for the wedding.”

“Yea, she’ll be just over a year.” I said.

We talked for a little more. I turned the conversation back to Courtney, Zack, and their new baby girl. When we were leaving to give someone else a chance Courtney made us swear not to say a word. She wanted everyone to be surprised. We gave her our word and went out.

Stephie and Jack were up next. Jack was excited to see if it was a boy or a girl. Stephie said she thought it was going to be a girl. Jack said it was going to be a boy. Alex and I laughed and sat down. Rian and Kara tried to get details from us but we didn’t say anything.

Fifteen minutes later Jack and Stephie came out. Rian and Kara got up and went to see Courtney and the baby. Stephie and I started talking about babies and if we wanted boys or girls. Jack and Alex went into some conversation that had nothing to do with babies but I wasn’t listening.

Rian and Kara came out after a while. I could see that Kara was all melted inside and wanted a baby. I wondered if that was what I looked like when I came out. That was how I felt.

Zack came out to say good-bye to us. We were all tired and headed back to the hotel to sleep. I wanted to go see my Sebastian. He was all alone in the hotel room and I was worried about him. He was probably fine and still sleeping but he was my baby.

As soon as we got back I took Sebastian out to see if he had to go potty and then brought him back in. Alex was curled up in bed when I made it back to our room. I put Sebastian down and slipped off clothes until I was as I had been before Zack had called me. Alex rolled when I got into bed with him.

“Hi.” He said kissing me.

“Hey.” I kissed back.

“I want a baby.” Alex said.

“Me too, but not until we’re married.”

Alex made a face.

“I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want one.”

“I want one just as bad as you want a baby.”

“Boy or girl?” He asked.

“Boy.” I said.

“Why boy?”

“I don’t know.”

“You have to know.”

“No, that just seems like what I’d want.” I said shrugging.

“A boy would be good. I would be happy as long as it’s human though.” Alex smiled.

“I think you’d love it even if it was an alien.”

“True, because it would be my alien.”

“Our alien.”

“Whose the alien then?” Alex asked.

“You.” I giggled.

“Why me? You’re the alien!”

“Boys are from Mars.” I said.

“Girls are from Venus!”

We continued on with our little fight for a while before I curled up next to Alex and closed my eyes. He curled himself around me and closed his eyes.

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you too.” Alex mumbled into my hair.

I laid there and played with my engagement ring for a little before going to sleep.

When we woke up in the middle of the day we went back to the hospital to see everyone again. We spent the whole day there and just hung out like the friends that we were. I could see that Courtney was still tired and I didn’t blame her.

She had made Zack get into the narrow hospital bed with her and she was turned into him with little Mikaela between the two of them. They both couldn’t keep their eyes off her for long and had to glance at her to make sure that she was happy and sleeping.

I was quietly imagining myself and Alex curled up in a hospital bed like that with a little baby between us. A year did feel like a long time away for me now. I wished it could come sooner.

Sometimes It's Better To Give In Chapter 11

Narration

Time passed along steadily. Jack and Stephie had been dating for six months. It was hard or them to be apart so much because they lived on opposite sides of the country.

Jack decided it was time for him to move out of his parents’ house. He found his own place and bought it. As soon as he had purchased his new house he had to call Stephie. He had this dream of them living together and he had to ask her right away.

Stephie answer the phone and had to get Jack to calm down. He was talking so fast she could hardly understand him.

“Jack, slow down.”

“I… bought… a… house.” Jack said as slowly as he could.

“Human pace and I don’t mean Jack Barakat human pace. I mean normal human pace.”

“You don’t think I’m normal?” Jack questioned.

“Jack, just get to the point. Stop getting as distracted as I get. Oh! I just found a penny.”

“See you’re were just lecturing me about getting distracted and then you find a penny!”

“Jack!”

“Okay, sorry. You’re right. What were we talking about?”

Jack was standing in him new and empty home. He was staring at the walls and thinking about what to do with them. However he could not remember that he’d called Stephie to ask her to move in with him.

“Something about you having bought a house.”

“Oh right. Will you move in with me?” Jack asked.

“What?”

“You move in with me. It’s not rocket science!”

“Where?”

“Maryland silly!” Jack giggled. “Where else? I just bought a house here.”

Stephie sat on her bed toying with the penny she’d just found on the windowsill. She thought about Jack’s question. She missed him a lot and she did want to move in with him. If she did she’d be leaving her family and her home. She looked out at the sunny sky and took a breath. Jack was more important to her.

“Yea, Jack. I think I will.”

“Really? So you mean that my girlfriend will move across the country for me?” Jack was almost screaming as he bounced around the room for his excitement.

“Yea!” Stephie said as the excitement spread to her. “When do I move in?”

“As soon as you can get here. Then we can go furniture shopping together!” Jack said. “Of course by that I mean you pick everything out and I buy it.”

“I’ll see when I can get out there. I’m pretty much on my way right now, but I have to tell my work and all that.”

“Sure thing Baby. I can’t wait to have you here! I almost want to get on a plane just to hug you and kiss you and then fly back with you.”

“Awe.”

“Yea I know. I’m sweet.” Jack giggled.

They talked a little longer. Stephie shared how she’d seen Courtney yesterday and she had a little bump now rather than a flat tummy. She told Jack how proud Courtney was of he tummy. Jack thought that was cute.

He shared the wedding details that he knew about Alex and Emmy. It seemed that it was going to be a while before they could do the wedding they wanted and the honeymoon. Emmy had been planning with Alex’s mom but there wasn’t a lot going on, just plan making. Of course Jack didn’t really know the specifics other than he was supposed to be Alex’s best man.

A few days later Stephie had a transfer lined up for her job and a plane ticket. She went home and packed up all her things. She looked around he apartment for the last time and smiled. She would miss it but she was moving on to bigger and better things.

Her brother was waiting for her as she left the apartment building. He helped her put all of her things into his car and then they were off to LAX. She was going to miss her brother a lot.

He walked her to her gate and kissed her on the cheek when she had to go.

“Make sure this Jack boy knows that he better take care of you.” He warned.

“He will, don’t worry.” Stephie smiled as she got on the plane.

A few hours later she was on the other side of the country. She turned off her ipod and waited as the plane started to land. She said a prayer in her head so the plane would land safely as she felt the first set of wheels hit the tarmac. When the plane had been towed into the dock all the passengers started getting up.

As she left the plane she heard Jack before she saw him. He was jumping up and down when she caught sight of his bobbing head. He was trying to see her over all the other people and didn’t care if anyone looked at him like a retard.

When he saw Stephie he let out a squeal that turned into her name and then ran towards her. She wrapped her arms around him as his body collided with hers and they took a few steps in one direction before gaining their balance back.

“I love you!” Jack said loud enough for everyone in the world to hear.

In fact he wanted the whole world to know that he loved her so he kept saying it over and over. Stephie laughed and kissed him all over his face.

“Okay Jack. I know. I love you too.”

“But I just love you so much!”

“Same. Can we get out of here? I want to see our new place.”

Jack’s insides tingled as he heard what Stephie said. It was their new place and now it really seemed that way because she was with him in his arms. He agreed with her question settled for holding her hands only because it was too hard to walk with his armw wrapped around her.

They went to baggage claim and picked up all three of her suitcases.

“How much did you bring? Where’s the bed? Damn!” Jack said carrying the two heavier suitcases.

“I took everything I owned. I moved here with you. I had to take everything. As for the bed, mine wasn’t big enough for the two of us.”

“Yep, which is why tomorrow we’re going shopping!”

“I never thought I would know a guy that was so excited about shopping as you are.” Stephie laughed.

“It’s only because it’s for my first place and it’s my first with you.” Jack said happily.

They loaded everything into Jack’s mom’s car and he drove to their new place so Stephie could see it.

It was much different to see it in person. She’d seen the many, many pictures Jack had sent her and the ichat tour Jack had taken her on but this was different. She was seeing the house for the first time with her own eyes.

Jack took her things inside and placed them next to the boxes he had of his things. She noticed that Jack had dragged his old mattress from his house and put it on the floor in the master bedroom so he had somewhere to sleep. She thought that was cute and plopped down on it. She wasn’t tired, but she wanted to be on the make shift bed. Jack plopped down next to her.

“I guess the first thing on our list should be a bed. This isn’t going to cut it for long. I stretch out when I sleep and I don’t think we’ll both fit.” Jack rambled.

Stephie grabbed Jack and pulled his face to hers. Their lips locked and Jack stopped talking. It wasn’t often that they kissed like this. She pushed him back on his small mattress and climbed on top of him.

Jack slid his hands into her shirt and let them drift. She had no problem with that. They continued on as their bodies pleased and soon clothes were coming off. Jack was nervous. Stephie was nervous. This hadn’t ever happened between them before but now was the time.

When it did happen there wasn’t anything else either of them could have hoped for. It was perfect. The entire world seemed to fall into place and they felt like they knew each other on a way more intimate level now.

After Jack curled up with Stephie in his arms and fell asleep. Stephie readjusted the covers over them and then fell asleep as well.

The sun creeping across the floor as it rose in the sky awakened the couple the next morning. Stephie was up before Jack and got dressed. Jack woke up when the spot where Stephie had been was cold. He saw her putting things back into her suitcase and smiled. It wasn’t all a dream and he was glad.

“Morning Beautiful.” Jack smiled rolling onto his back and stretching.

“Sleep well?” Stephie asked sitting Indian style on the bed next to Jack’s stretching form.

“Mmhm. I think the part where I wasn’t sleeping was better though!”

“Of course.” Stephie laughed.

Jack stopped stretching and let his limbs fall. His feet stuck out from under the blankets that were thrown on the mattress.

“Yep, bed is the first thing on our list.” Stephie nodded.

When Jack was out of bed he got dressed and wondered into the kitchen. Stephie was sitting there waiting for him. He went into the refrigerator and looked around. There wasn’t much in the way of breakfast foods so he shut it.

“Oh, I guess we’ll have to go out for breakfast too.” Jack said picking up his mom’s car keys. “And I have to get myself a car eventually.” He mumbled to himself.

Jack and Stephie got into the car and went to get breakfast first. After they ate they went to the first furniture store Jack spotted.

It was a long day of sitting on couches, laying on beds, and deciding which table to get for the kitchen but the two made it through. The bed was being delivered and set up later on. Jack was excited about that. They bought a table that would be delivered in two days and a couch that was coming the next day.

Stephie bought bed sheets for the new bed and then asked Jack if he had a washer and dryer. He said they were in the garage. She felt better about that and bought a few more sets of sheets for the bed. She’d wash all of them before she put them on the new bed.

Over the next few weeks they acquired all the things needed to live in a house. Jack bought the biggest TV he could afford and bought the best cable package he could afford so that he could watch movies and TV and play games with a really big screen.

While Jack bought all the less necessary for life and more for fun objects Stephie bought the things that they really needed. She was the one that made the house livable and Jack didn’t know just how lucky he was to have her living with him.

If it weren’t for her he would probably still have an empty house and little to no food to eat. He was a boy after all and didn’t think about how to survive first, it was fun first.

Stephie knew this and she liked it. She liked that she was taking care of Jack while making him think that he was taking care of her. As long as Jack was happy so was she.

When the house was set up enough to have other people over, Stephie let Jack bring friends over. Alex, Emmy, Rian, and Kara came over for a little dinner party that Stephie threw. All the boys were instantly absorbed by the giant TV and the Xbox. The three girls rolled their eyes at their boyfriends and went into the kitchen to make the dinner happen.

It was so nice for Jack to have his own place. Eventually he did have to take his mom’s car back and this prompted Stephie to make Jack go out and buy a car. He bought the one he’d been wanting for a while, the Acura TL.

He was so happy that he had his own car that he found reasons to drive it. He would decide that he wanted something specific for lunch so he would drive out to get the ingredients and bring them home even if he had them in the kitchen somewhere.

Stephie never had a need for a car. He r work place was near to where she and Jack lived so she walked. As of late though Jack had been driving her to and from work just to drive his car. She didn’t mind it though.

“I’m happy you moved out here with me.” Jack told Stephie one night when they were going to bed. “I would be so alone without you here all the time.”

“I’m glad I moved here too.”

“I mean it though! I would be lonely and lost without you.” Jack smiled.

Stephie smiled back at him. He was being serious for once and she liked it.

“You know I would be the same.” Stephie said kissing his lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you Jack.”

He giggled. “I like it when you say that.”

“I’m glad.”

Jack was back to his silly self. All the seriousness was gone. It could only last a few moments anyways. He just wasn’t a serious person and if he was serious for to long he was afraid that he would never be able to be himself again. It was a silly fear but a fear he had nonetheless.

It was easy living for the two. Eventually Jack had to leave on tour again and then it was going to be Stephie’s first time alone since she moved here. She knew that Emmy and Kara would be there if she needed someone to hang out with but it just wasn’t going to be the same without Jack.

Of course the time that passed seemed like nothing as soon as Jack was back with her and they were in each other’s arms.

Sometimes It's Better To Give In Chapter 10

Narration

Three weeks later Courtney and Zack were back home in California. She was missing her third day of school this week because she felt sick.

“Maybe we should take you to the hospital.” Zack said.

“No, it’s not anything bad.” Courtney waved him off.

“You’ve missed three days of school. You’ve been throwing up all three days. There’s something going on.”

“No-” Courtney paused.

The wave of nausea was passing over her again. Zack recognized the sign and let her get up. She ran to the bathroom and he followed her. When he got to the bathroom she was throwing up. He filled the glass on the counter again and handed it to her. She held it but leaned over the toilet again.

“Is she still sick?” Jordan asked walking by.

“Yea, I’m worried.” Zack said.

“I’m fine guys.” Courtney said.

She leaned against the wall behind her and sipped the water. She rinsed her mouth out and spit into the toilet before flushing it. Jordan threw Zack a glace to tell him that he agreed with taking Courtney to the doctor. He nodded and sat next to Courtney.

She snuggled into his side and closed her eyes feeling drained for the second time today.

“Zack?”

“What?” He asked rubbing her arm.

“I think I’m pregnant.” She said quietly.

Zack was silent for a moment. He was thinking over what she’d said. When he thought about the last three days her statement seemed to explain it.

“Me too.” He agreed.

“It could have happened during Christmas break.” She said.

“That was the only time it could have. I ran out of…” Zack trailed off thinking, “yea, that has to be it.” Zack said.

“Are you mad?” She asked.

“No.” He said. “I’m actually happy.”

Courtney looked up to see that Zack was smiling to himself. She smiled knowing that he wasn’t lying to her.

“What are we going to do?”

“First off,” Zack said, “I’m going to marry you.”

“No.” Courtney said. “You’re not going to marry me because I have your baby in me.”

“Courtney, we don’t know for sure yet. You could just be sick. I was going to ask you this summer anyways.”

“You were?”

“Yes, I special ordered a ring that I’m getting tomorrow and I was going to hold onto it until summer.”

“Why wait so long?”

“Because I wanted to be sure. So will you marry me Courtney Ashman?”

“Yea.” She said kissing Zack.

“You can have the ring tomorrow.” He smiled kissing her back.

“Can we go to the store and get a test now?”

“Come on.”

Zack stood up and pulled Courtney off the floor. She paused to brush her teeth and then continued on the way to the garage.

“Are you guys going to the doctors?” Jordan asked from the couch.

“Nope, drug store. Courtney thinks she could be pregnant.” Zack said pulling Courtney closer.

“Oh, is that good?” Jordan asked.

“It’s very good.” Courtney said.

“Okay.”

Courtney and Zack got into his car and he drove to the store. She was nervous and chewed on her bottom lip. If she was pregnant what was she going to do about school? Courtney quickly did the math in her head. If she was pregnant then it happened in December and in nine months that would be August. She would be having her baby in summer so she could go to school still, she’d just be very pregnant towards the end. She laughed at the mental image of herself in June.

“What?” Zack asked.

“Imagine me in June when I’m finishing up freshman year.” She giggled.

“You’d be how far along?”

“Seven months.”

Zack laughed with her.

“Are you going to stay in school?”

“Yep.”

“That’s my trooper.” He said reaching over to touch her cheek.

They made it to the store and went in holding hands. They went to isle eight labeled hygiene and family planning. Courtney looked at the boxes upon boxes of different tests and pushed her eyebrows together.

She picked up the first one her eyes landed on after she decided it didn’t matter. They were all going to tell her one thing or another.

“Ready?”

“Mmhm.”

They went to the cash register together. Zack pulled out his wallet and handed the cashier a five. She handed him back his change and they left the store. Courtney stared at the test on the way home.

“I have to pee on a stick to find out if I’m pregnant.” She laughed to herself.

“Pretty weird huh?”

“Yea.”

Zack parked in the garage and Courtney got out of the car. She went into the house and went straight for the bathroom. Zack sat down on the couch with Jordan.

“Are you scared?” Jordan asked.

“No, I’m hoping she is actually. I’d be really happy if she was.”

“How come?”

“Because knowing that she’s carrying my baby would mean a lot. You know I was going to ask her to marry me. This is just better than that.”

“Are you going to marry her sooner than you planned?”

“Yea, I asked her if she wanted to get married before we knew if she was pregnant for sure.”

“Congrats on getting engaged then man.”

“Thanks.”

Zack got up and went down the hall to stand by the bathroom door. Courtney was standing there staring at the test on the counter. She had to wait two minutes to find out though she was pretty much sure she was. She opened the door because she knew Zack was outside.

He came in and pulled her into a hug.

“We still have a minute.” She said putting her head against his chest.

“Okay.” Zack glanced at the test.

It was still blank. He felt his heart speed up in anticipation. Courtney heard his heart speed up and smiled.

“Nervous?” She asked.

“Yea, it’s my first baby.” He said.

“I am too.” She put Zack’s hand on her chest.

He could feel the pounding of her heart.

“Do you think you are?” He asked.

“I’m ninety-nine percent sure.”

Courtney picked up the test from the counter and looked at it. There was one simple word on the screen. Pregnant. She showed Zack and he kissed her.

“You’re happy right?” He asked her.

“Yes, I’m very happy.”

“Good, so am I.”

“I guess this will interrupt my surfing lessons you’ve been giving me huh?”

“Never seen a pregnant woman surfing so I can’t imagine that’s a good thing.”

Courtney laughed and hugged Zack tightly around the waist.

“I love you.” She said.

“I love you too.” He smiled.

“What’s the verdict?” Jordan asked appearing in the doorway.

“I’m preggers.”

“Cool. Does that mean you guys are going to leave me?” Jordan asked.

“Unless you want a crying baby here.”

“Good point.”

“Zack, I have to go call Emmy.”

“Okay.” He let Courtney go.

She went down to her room and picked up the phone. Courtney dialed Emmy’s number and waited as the phone rang over and over. She checked the clock. It was three in the afternoon there so she should be out of class.

“Hello?” Alex answered.

“Alex! What are you doing answering Emmy’s phone?”

“She’s in the bathroom. What’s up?”

“I have something to tell you both. Get her out of there.”

Alex looked at the bathroom door. Emmy walked out after a second.

“Who’s on the phone?” She asked.

“Courtney. She has something to tell us.”

“Put it on speaker.”

Alex pushed the button on the side of Emmy’s phone and the speaker icon showed up.

“What do you have to tell us?” Emmy asked.

Courtney looked at Zack and he smiled at her.

“I’m getting married.” She said.

“Awe, that’s great. When did you get engaged?” Emmy asked.

“Just now.”

“So what are you doing calling us?” Alex asked. “Shouldn’t you be sucking Zack’s face or something more?”

“There’s more.” Courtney said.

“What?” Alex and Emmy asked at the same time.

“I’m also pregnant.”

“No way!” Emmy almost shouted. “When did that happen?”

“During Christmas break.” Zack said.

“Damn.” Alex said.

“So we’re getting married real soon. You’re my maid of honor Emmy.”

“Okay. When is it?”

“We haven’t gotten that far, but it’s going to be short notice. As soon as I get off the phone with you guys I’m starting this planning. I need to get married before you can tell I’m pregnant.”

“You’ve got like two months then.” Emmy said.

“I know. Short notice. I think it’s going to be a small wedding too.”

“Let me know as soon as you figure it out.”

“I will. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Bye.” Alex and Emmy said together.

Courtney hung up the phone and looked at Zack.

“I have a wedding to plan.”

“Can we get married on the beach?” Zack asked.

“Yes. That’s perfect!”

Courtney was soon far into throwing a wedding together. She was two weeks into it and had sent out the invitations. She had a dress that was loose and flowey so that it would blow in the wind and also so it would hide even the slightest bump in her currently flat stomach.

The wedding date came up faster than she thought it would. Emmy and Alex arrived with Rian, Kara, and Jack. Emmy went to Courtney’s to see the dress so no boys were allowed in the house. She was getting married tomorrow and wasn’t going to let anyone see her in it but her mother and Emmy.

The next day Emmy got up early and kissed Alex before she left to see Courtney. Zack was on his way to the hotel Alex was at when Emmy arrived. She handed Zack her card key so he could just go in.

Courtney was in her room with her mom. She was getting ready to put her dress on. Emmy had made it just in time. Courtney handed Emmy her bridesmaid dress. Emmy slipped it on quickly and then helped Courtney into her wedding dress. She looked so pretty in the flowing white fabric. Her mother almost broke into tears.

Courtney went to work on her makeup since her hair was already done. The time was fast approaching for the three of them to get to the beach. Courtney’s dad was meeting her there to walk her to Zack.

No one but Alex and Emmy knew Courtney was pregnant. She didn’t want anyone to know. She wanted them to assume that she got pregnant as soon as she and Zack got married.

She got to the beach and met with her dad. He told her she was beautiful and kissed her. He was sad to see his daughter grow up but proud of her as well.

Zack was waiting for her with a smile. They couldn’t look at anything but each other. They repeated what they were supposed to and before they knew it they were kissing each other.

Courtney was married and now a Merrick. She was so happy she couldn’t put it into words. Zack felt the same way.

It was on to the reception from there. Then Zack and Courtney went home and get ready for their short honeymoon in Hawaii that she’d managed to throw together at the last minute.

Sometimes It's Better To Give In Chapter 9

Emmeline

The months passed rather quickly for me. Alex was gone on tour and then he was back. I enjoyed the time I had with Sebastian, but we both missed Alex. He was home just in time for the holiday season. He got home as soon as I went on winter break.

Our first day back together wasn’t that productive. He and Rian caught up on his sleep while I went around the house cleaning here and there. Sebastian stayed with Alex most of the day and I didn’t blame him. Who would want to follow me around while I cleaned up all day?

The first week that we were home together we spent every second possible together. I did try to cut back on my indulgence of Alex when Rian was around. I knew that he’d only been joking before, but I felt like I wasn’t caring enough about him and being polite. He and Kara didn’t have to hear that all the time.

Soon enough we were back to visiting each others’ families for the holidays. Relatives from all over the country, and in Alex’s case from England, came to visit. I had such a fun time meeting the people in Alex’s family that I hadn’t had a chance to meet last year.

We had a huge dinner at his parents’ place and then at my mom’s with our relatives. Alex seemed absolutely happy with meeting my family and they all seemed to love him. This was all so perfect. I didn’t want to give him up for the tour that was looming in the not so distant future.

Christmas day came and went. We went to both our families’ respective households. My family then came to Alex’s parents’ house for dinner. There were a lot of people but it felt like home. It was even snowing outside.

Two days after Christmas I woke up and Alex informed me that we were going to a very nice restaurant for dinner. I liked the idea and went through my closet for something nice to wear while he went out. He told me that he had some band stuff he had to do with Rian, Jack, and Zack.

Zack and Courtney were here as well on her break from school to visit their families. I called her and asked her to come over. She came just as Alex and Rian were leaving.

“What’s going on?” She asked when she saw that I had been going through the closet.

“Alex said he’s taking me out tonight. Somewhere really nice.”

“Ohhh, that sounds good.”

“Yep, so I’m trying to find a nice dress or something to wear. Help?”

“Sure.”

Together we tackled the closet and came up with something really pretty for me to wear.

“Oh, you’ll knock him dead when he sees you.” Courtney said smiling.

It was almost like a smile that said she knew something I didn’t but I wasn’t sure. I just continued to model the outfit in front of the mirror and play with the way it looked. I knew what I was going to do with my hair and makeup so there wasn’t much to do.

Courtney picked up one of my hands and looked at it.

“Damn, you need to get these repainted. Let me see your other hand.”

I held my other hand out.

“Okay, I’m doing your nails right now.”

I took off the outfit that I would be wearing later and put my normal clothes back on. Sebastian followed us out to the kitchen where Courtney set up to for my nails. I was glad she noticed because I would have when it was too late.

Only an hour later Courtney was finished. I went to sit on the couch and let my nails dry. We watched TV for a few hours. When I looked at the clock it was about time that I started getting ready for my date. Courtney followed me into my room and handed me the clothing items we’d picked out before hand.

As I worked on my make up Courtney insisted on doing my hair. I let her so I could save myself time. I heard Alex and Rian come back and I wanted to go see them but I had to finish up in the bathroom first.

Alex came into our room and saw Courtney and I in the bathroom.

“Zack’s looking for you.” Alex said.

“I’ll be there in a moment. I’m helping Emmy.”

“Okay. Don’t come out of there until I open the door.” Alex said shutting the bathroom door.

“What is he scared I’ll see him in hi boxers. The whole world has seen him in his boxers.” Courtney said.

“I don’t know.” I said waiting for her to finish my hair.

She was done in a few more minutes and then we had to wait while Alex changed. She looked me up and down like I was something she was going to buy. She made me spin so she could see me from all angles. I felt like a horse at auction.

“Happy with your appraisal?” I asked.

“Yes, you look stunning.”

Alex opened the bathroom door and just stared at me. I smiled and blushed knowing that how I looked was the reason for his loss of words.

“Ready to go yet?” He asked me.

“I’m ready.” I said taking a step towards him.

“You look so beautiful.” He said kissing my cheek.

“Thank you Alex.”

Courtney had slipped out of the room and was with Zack on the couch when Alex and I walked to the front of the house.

“See you guys later.” Rian said.

“Have fun.” Zack said patting Alex on the back.

Zack’s gesture reminded me of a way that guys said good luck to each other but I brushed it off. I had no idea what brought this on other than the romantic mood Alex had been in for about six months. Not that I was complaining.

Alex walked to the passenger side of his truck and opened the door. He let me climb in while holding my hand for support. He walked around to the other side and got into the truck.

We started out on our drive. I tried to figure out what had brought this on but Alex would not give me even a hint. He just said it was because I was so beautiful I deserved it. I let it go and allowed the conversation to drift wherever he took it.

The drive was rather long and we ended up at one of the most expensive and fancy restaurants in the Baltimore area. I was a little confused. What had I done to deserve this?

Alex again got out of the truck and opened up my door for me. He helped me out of the truck and gave me a kiss while shutting the door. He put his arm around me and led me to the front door.

“Two for Gaskarth.” Alex said when we reached the hostess.

“Right this way.” The girl said taking us to our table.

We were towards the back in a secluded area. I could only imagine what Alex was spending on this night. I had a suspicion now, but I wasn’t sure. I also didn’t want to think on it too much because I didn’t want to be disappointed.

“Is this okay?” Alex asked after we’d been seated.

“Yea, it’s perfect. This place is beautiful. Thank you for this.” I smiled warmly at him.

“It’s no problem.” He smiled.

We took a moment to go through the menu. There were no prices listed. I guess if you could afford to walk into this place you could afford to eat here so they didn’t bother listing the prices.

We settled on our dinners and then Alex ordered for the both of us when the waitress came. It took a while for our dinner to be ready so we filled the time with the wine that Alex asked for and talked amongst ourselves. It was like the whole world was shut out tonight. I didn’t hear anyone else in this restaurant. I was startled when they brought our food out I was so lost in conversation with Alex.

Even when we ate it was like that. We talked and talked about everything that seemed to matter to us. Dinner was over and then it was dessert. Alex ordered something for us to share.

When it came out it looked more like and art piece than a dessert. He was really going out of his way tonight for some reason. Alex and I ate what we could of the dessert and talked. Slowly his subjects became more targeted and his word choice became more exclusive.

My stomach had butterflies. I knew we were getting to the point of this whole date. My suspicions grew and I was pretty sure I knew what Alex was going for. It was hard to go at the pace Alex was going. I wanted to know so badly and he could see that in my eyes.

“Do you remember when I asked you to move in with me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you remember what I said?”

“Yes.”

“I said that I had more life changing ideas in my head that I wouldn’t talk about?”

“Yea.” I said.

In my gut I knew that my suspicion was right this time. He was going to ask me something very important and I was pretty sure I knew my answer already.

“There’s a life changing matter that I want to bring up now.” Alex said.

“I’m listening.”

Alex smiled and stood up from his chair. He stepped around the table and stood in front of me. I looked at him for a moment and wondered what he was doing. Alex reached into his jacket pocket, withdrew something, and then got down on one knee.

He took my left hand in his right and with his other hand he held a small box.

“Emmeline Morgan Steingarten, will you marry me?”

I was unable to speak as he opened the small box with one hand and held it closer for me to see. I smiled and felt a tear slid down my cheek.

“Yes.” Was all I could manage.

Alex smiled and let go of my hand for just a moment to remove the ring from the box and place it on my left hand. I felt another tear on my cheek. This was such a perfect moment. Alex stood up and pulled me from my seat to hold me in his arms.

“I love you.” I said.

Those words didn’t quite explain how I felt about Alex, but they had to do for now.

“I love you and I adore you.” Alex said toping my choice of words.

I kissed him passionately for a few moments and the pulled back. He was so happy it was impossible to explain. I felt the same way.

We sat back down in our chairs. I looked at my hand and let out a laugh. I wiped at a tear that I felt. Alex smiled while just watching me.

He got the check and then we left. In his truck I pulled him closer to me and kissed him. He was happy to be able to kiss me like this and got very into it.

After a moment he suggested that we get back home and continue there. I agreed.

We held hands all the way home and I couldn’t stop looking at my hand. The ring there caused a feeling in me that I’d never known.

Alex and I got home. He held onto me for a moment in the driveway and kissed me all over my face and told me how happy I’d made him by saying yes.

When we entered the house Rian, Kara, Zack, and Courtney were still there. I knew at once all their eyes went to my left hand and then to Alex’s face to see that I had accepted Alex’s proposal.

Courtney got up from the couch and hugged me.

“Congratulations Emmy. I knew it would happen.” She said hugged me tightly.

Kara got up from the couch as well to do the same thing as Courtney and she was followed by Zack and Rian. It was a few minutes before Alex and I were allowed to go into our room to be alone. Sebastian was the only one I let in with us.

Alex took off all of his clothes and got into bad. I did the same, went into the bathroom to take off my makeup, and then curled up next to him. Sebastian jumped up on the bed and started sniffing us. He gave s both a kiss and then settled between us.

I connected my face with Alex’s at the lips and we made out like we’d been wanting to. It didn’t feel like we needed anything more. All I needed were his lips against mine and his body close. There was nothing else I required.

A few times Sebastian got into the middle of it to see what we were doing and we had to stop to talk to him and play with him.

“So, when do we get married?” I asked Alex.

“Any time you want. We could go to Vegas right now if you want.”

“You do realize that if you marry me here in the United States you will become an American Citizen.” I said.

Alex seemed to ponder that for a moment. It was like he was putting on theatrics so this had already occurred to him.

“I’m not becoming an American.” He said with a British accent.

“So then what shall we do? Get married in England?”

“Essex to be exact.” Alex smiled.

“Are you serious?” I asked looking into his eyes for any hint of a joke.

“Yes, I want to get married there. I want to get married where I was born.”

“Okay.” I smiled.

I had never imagined getting married out of the US. Now it was going to happen. I was excited but nervous. How was I going to plan this?

Alex could tell what I was thinking and kissed my forehead.

“Don’t worry about it. My mom will help us.” He smiled.

“Does she know?”

“She knows I was asking you tonight, so does your mom. I bet they’ll be expecting an answer tomorrow so we better go see them.”

“I have to call my dad.”

“He knows too. I called him and asked for his permission.”

“You did? Really?”

“How could I ask you to marry me if I hadn’t asked him? That’s how it’s done.”

“Alex.” I sighed snuggling into him. “How did I ever get so lucky?”

He chuckled and kissed my cheek.

“I’m the one that’s lucky. You said yes to me.”